charvey in Vietnam

Jitterbug Stroll

It's a tradition for a different group at our company to to a "Team Show" at our monthly All Hands meeting.  This month Hang and I performed.  Hang and I are the only ones on the VietnamWorks Management Team.  All the rest of the people on my team have their own groups and their own teams to help them in their missions.  Hang, our Senior Business Analyst, is the only person whose sole responsibility is to help me with management and analysis.  She's awesome.   Together we're a team of two.  So for our show we decided to perform the Jitterbug Stroll, a super fun dance routine that I learned in Saigon Swing .  Enjoy.

Đại gia và Chân dài

A few weeks ago I traveled to Hanoi to join our Hanoi company party and chaperone the North sales team on their reward trip for kicking arse in 2009.  This pic was taken in a small village in the mountains about 5 hours from Hanoi at the minority tribe guest house where we stayed. 

The team joked that I was the "Đại gia" [pronounced "day za"] and they were the "Chân dài" [pronounced "chun zai"].  "Đại gia" translates loosely to the American slang "sugar daddy" while "Chân dài" literally means "long legs" or, more generally, pretty girls hanging around the Đại gia.  Needless to say I've gotten a lot of mileage out of this word because it's a joke that never gets old.  I think it's especially funny to hear a foreigner say "Đại gia" in my funny accent.

I had a ball during the weekend.  On display were many of the Vietnamese characteristics I admire and enjoy -- the closeness in a group, the joking and fun, the zeal and enthusiasm with which they engage in fun activities.  We climbed a few hundred meters up the side of a mountain to visit a big cave.  One girl insisted on doing it in her 7cm purple pumps.  I asked why.  She replied with a smile "Because I like them!  And it's a challenge!"  At one point they taught me a card game that's kinda like the American drinking game "President" but with some rule variations.  They ran rings around me.  The loser had to have a charcoal mark put on their face and they had a blast with me. 

One of those cultural differences you never expect emerged during the weekend too.  The first time our bus stopped for a toilet break, about 1/3 of the team got off the bus and promptly hurled their breakfasts on the pavement.  It turns out that car sickness is very common, especially in Hanoi.  Makes sense -- they didn't grow up riding in cars or buses. 

All in all, a great weekend.  I love spending time with the North team.  Their "mau lua" -- fire in the blood -- energizes and inspires me.

You can see the photos from the trip above.  The first half is our company party, the second half from the weekend trip [look closely for the purple pumps.]  The costumes you see are worn by our directors for our show.  We played characters from a Chinese TV serial that's very famous in Vietnam, "Journey to the West."  The team loved it!  I was the evil general and was vanquished by the good Monkey.  Each team put on a show, including a "Sexy Show" [yes Virginia, there's no such thing as political correctness in Vietnam].  Good times, good times....

Tennis at the Rex

Tonight I joined some colleagues to play tennis at the Rex Hotel.  As some of My Public may know, the Rex is quite famous for being the main lodging place for American officers and for military press briefings during the Vietnam (aka "American") War.  

It was pretty cool playing on top of the hotel, surrounded by a sea of Saigon neon and a sense of history.  I haven't played in over a year.  Forgot how much I enjoy it.

Reading is Key

I love to read.  Books, stories, newspapers and magazines have introduced me to ideas and things in the world.  They have stimulated my curiosity and opened my mind.  A love of reading and learning is a big part of who I am today.

Reading "Nuts! Southwest Airlines' Crazy Recipe for Business and Personal Success" gave me *tons* of ideas about how to create an a fun, friendly and energized culture at our company.  One is the importance of "giving back" to a company's identity and feeling of teamwork.  A great idea!  I decided we should create our own charity, and that the objective should be encouraging kids to read.  I used to volunteer to read to kids in the Bay Area and it was very rewarding. 

Last week four Dream-Makers and I visited Hong Tam school for disadvantaged kids.  Hong Tam is privately run and funded.  Ms. Trang, the founder, saw that there were kids in the local community who did not attend school for various reasons such as their parents couldn't afford school fees or  weren't properly registered to live in Saigon.  She keeps the school going in a very modest house at the back of an alley in remote District 8. 

Shortly after arrival.  On the left are Chi and Hang from VietnamWorks.  Chi's team found the school and organized the trip.  The kids on the right are students.  Hong Tam serves about 25 kids as young as 6 to about 15.

We brought some books and posters showing English and Vietnamese words for the kids.  Here, Nga teaches the kids English words for vegetables.  She's a naturally gifted teacher -- "What eats a carrot?  That's right, a rabbit!!"

Hang teaches English words for parts of the body.  I was surprised at how many words the kids knew already.  A Spanish guy named Antonio teaches English every Saturday.

Charvey gets into the game reading "Bubu bị đau răng," aka "Bubu has a toothache."  It's a cautionary tale of what happens to Bubu the baby bear when he doesn't listen to his mother, eats lots of candy,  gets a toothache and has to go to the dentist.  Poor Bubu!  I read in Vietnamese and asked the kids to read along and help me with my pronunciation.  They got a kick outta that.  I'd say pretty much all of them read better than I do.  I had a great time.

Our objectives are modest.  We will visit the school on the last Saturday of each month for about an hour to read to the kids.  Each time we'll bring a few reading or coloring books to give them fresh material.  The big message I want to send to the kids is that reading is fun.  I'll consider it a success if even one kid reads more as a result. 

On the Stool

A reporter friend of mine writes for a weekly addition to the Vietnam Investment Review called Timeout.  Timeout selects a different foreigner to profile each week, asking the same questions.  It's called "On the Stool."  My friend asked me to be profiled recently.  My agent negotiated a lower-than-usual fee since she's a friend of mine ;-).

[Click on the image below to see a larger version.]

Cô Cúc

Tôi học tiếng việt 2 năm rồi.  Cô giáo tôi tền là Cô Cúc.  Cô ấy rất dẽ thương và vui tính.  Cô ấy luôn luôn nhớ nhiều từ tôi quên và cô ấy nhác tôi.  Thường chúng tôi nói chuyền về cuộc sống tôi ở Việt Nam, and tôi học từ mới như vay.

Dào nay, Cô Cúc và tôi mặc áo mầu tím.  Vui quá, tôi phải chục hình!

Một ngày khách Cô Cúc mặc áo với từ nay: "I [shamrock] Irish boys." Vui quá nữa!  Tôi phải chục lại - đây là phòng cách khách của cô ấy.

Saigon Driving Range

Just north of downtown across the Saigon River is the nicest driving range I've ever had the pleasure of visiting (fyi I'm not much of a golfer).  A few weekends a month I go there and hit some balls.  There's always a cool breeze blowing off the river and the view of the river and Saigon skyline is quite nice, especially at sunset.

Here's a shot of the range at sunset.  I like the second floor near the river.  My shots travel further from there *heh*.

And here's the facility.  It's pretty sweet.  This woman next to me was excellent.

Golf in Vietnam

On Saturday I got up at the ungodly hour of 6am to meet my friend Sohn and his buddy Choi to play golf.  We met at the swankiest golf course I've even been to.  Each of us had our own personal caddies.  My caddy was Phuong.  She is a university student studying accounting and caddies on weekends.  Phuong definitely knew more about golf than I do -- she figured out pretty fast that I couldn't use anything below a 7-iron on the fairway.  Plus she gave good tips on my swing.  "Relax more" and "slower" were commonly heard between sighs of frustration.

Here we are at about 7:30am just before teeing off.  About every third hole featured little oases of snacks, drinks and attentive staff.

A shot of one of the fairways.  Yeah, the bunker is about as big as a football field.  Or maybe it just seemed that way.

A close up of Phuong clad in her anti-sun wear. 

After golf we went out an excellent Korean BBQ place in An Phu.  Damn I love Korean BBQ.

Sunday Walk

A few weeks ago I walked back to my house in district 3 from district 1.  It took about 20 minutes.  Along the way I snapped several photos. 

Here's the "Notre Dame" Catholic church in central Saigon, District 1.  It was right about 5pm and worshippers were streaming in.

Here are some nuns welcoming the crowd.  They looked like a happy bunch.

There are always lots of tourists, Vietnamese and foreigners alike, taking pics near the statue of the Virgin Mary in front of the church.

I passed in front of the Reunification Palace, formerly home of the President of the former Republic of Vietnam, aka South Vietnam.  It's open for tours.  The interior is like a time capsule -- the decor, furniture, everything is preserved in its 1960s-era modern splendor.  While touring with recent visitors Rick and Katie, Rick remarked "My parents' basement rec room still looks like that."

There are patriotic posters scattered throughout the city.  It's ironic to see the hammer and sickle share street space with massive and  gaudy Pepsi and Samsung billboards. 

A few blocks away was what looked like an old French building.  Jon had a good post about the dwindling ranks of old French architecture in Saigon.  Gradually it is being torn down to make way for Saigon's shiny new future.

Near my house there's a pharmacy where you can buy any drug you want, no prescription necessary.  There's a scale there too.  I periodically stop by to check my kilo progress, making sure no one is sneaking a foot on the scale (they are pranksters).  Their uniforms crack me up.

This is co Van, aka the cigarette lady who sets up shop every evening outside my little alley.  We always share a friendly wave.  Sometimes I stop by to chat and practice my Vietnamese.  I must be making progress, because now we can exchange real information.  The last time the power went out I asked her when it would be fixed.  "About an hour," she said. 

Uớc Mơ Của Tôi

Hello Public -- it's finally here!  After Herculean effort and countless dead-ends, I have succeeded in editing down my appearance on the VTV3 program "Uớc Mơ Của Tôi" ("My Dream") and uploading onto YouTube.  Special thanks to fellow American and Wisconsiner Brian Cotter, a loyal reader and fellow beer drinker who volunteered to rip and edit the video.  This one's for you, Brian.

The clips below appeared on the first episode of the show.  In it the judges gave the candidates interview-y questions and evaluated them on a number of factors such as poise, confidence, answer quality and, my personal favorite, BS ability.  Most of the candidates answered our questions in Vietnamese per the producer's instruction.  So if you think I'm faking it during those scenes where I'm nodding thoughtfully at the candidate's answer, you're absolutely right.

Oh yeah, I'm a celebrity now.  I've been recognized twice in public as "that white dude from that TV show."  It was impressive because all white guys look alike to the Vietnamese (no kidding, really).  On the way to Tokyo last month the flight attendant asked me "Did I see you on TV last night?"  I answered, 'Ahem, why yes....yes you did."  The second time was in an elevator in Hanoi.  Neither person asked me for my autograph or stalked me, though.  I'm disappointed I haven't had to get any restraining orders yet.  Celebrity can be so fickle.  I might have to check into rehab to get some attention.

Charvey Superstar 3

Ok I'm getting lazy.  I haven't downloaded the DVD ripping and video editing software.  It's not likely I will, either.  I decided to do the next best thing and upload the partial video I was able to rip, without editing, to my web storage account at Mediamax.  Those of you interested can watch the first 15 minutes of footage or so in the file.  I'm on at about minute 11 doing my introduction.  Click on this link to download a streaming video file.  I couldn't upload to Youtube because the file is over 100 megabytes of spine-tingling entertainment.

Unfortunately this file doesn't contain some of my best moments later in the program where I engaged in playful and witty banter with some of the contestants.  Alex Trebek, move over!

Charvey Superstar 2

Ok My Public.  I've been working on the Charvery Superstar Project for a couple hours.  First I found and downloaded some DVD ripping software.  But then it turned out that the "free" trial copy only allows me to rip the first 10 minutes of the DVD.  That is a problem for you, My Public, since Charvey Superstar's choicest moments are towards the end of the program.

When I tried to purchase the software to have unlimited ripping ability, the software company's payment server detected that I was in Vietnam and offer only the option to pay by Paypal, not by credit card (Vietnam has some notoriety as a not-so-insignificant source of online credit card fraud).  I forgot my Paypal password and had to have it emailed to me.  Upon logging into Paypal I was informed that they have placed my account on "limited access" for reasons unknown, so I am unable to send money.  I followed the procedure to unlock the account whereby Paypal calls you and you enter a special code they display on your account page.  Unfortunately, Skype chose that moment to wig out on me and I missed the call.  Paypal is an unforgiving disciplinarian and would not let me try to verify by phone again.  They informed me that they have mailed a letter to my USA address with instructions.  Oy.

So then I tried finding some other DVD rip programs.  I downloaded another, only to learn that it's the exact same program as the first save for a slightly different interface and marketing.  "Well, I did capture the first 16 minutes of the program, so maybe I can edit it for a clip where I appear."  No dice here either.  I don't have a proper video-editing software on this computer.  Double oy.

So in a bid to whet your appetites, I'm posting this still frame from my introductory bit on the show.  I think I come off as a bit smarmy and self-satisfied in the clip.  I know my folks will get a kick outta that one.  Maybe there is something to what they've been telling me all these years.....



Later this week I'll see if I can get the right software.  After ripping, editing and upload time on YouTube we'll be ready to go.  In the meantime, I'm all ears if any of My Public knows of some good DVD-ripping and video-editing software.

Saigon Blog Summit 3

Much has been written about the newfangled world of cyberspace* and how it enables new social constructs and connections.  Blogs are a great example of the new medium.  They can be many things -- a soapbox upon which to rant, a place to keep friends and family up to date, a travel diary, a business networking tool.  Who knew there were so many witty and able writers out there?  It's an example of the internet fulfilling its highest promise -- empowering individuals to communicate, share and build communities in ways never before possible. 

There are many Saigon bloggers.  I've gotten to know some of them virtually by virtue of reading their blogs regularly.  Their personalities shine through and jump off the screen.  After a few months of regular reading it feels like you know the person behind the prose.  Well, I got to meet many of these people on Saturday at the Saigon Blog Summit, organized by Kevin, aka SaigonNezumi.  It felt a bit strange meeting people I had never met before, but knowing so much about their lives.  A bit like meeting a TV personality or something, and a little like a voyeur.  AznGamerBoi, aka Pao, looked and spoke every inch the part of young gamer from LA, except that he's from the Philippines.  He endured jokes regarding his status as "boi" and not as "man."  " 'AznGamerMan' just doesn't sound as cool," was his response.  Also in attendance were Cheryl (StreetTalk), Jimmy (ThirstyThong -- don't read if you are offended by salty language or R-rated content), Lisa (Alfaspider), Annie (MeetmeinSaigon) and Jon (Itsthefinalword).

We had the event at the top floor of Diamond Plaza, a big shopping complex in District 1 near Notre Dame.  It's a teenager's (and my) idea of Saturday night paradise -- psychadelic black-light bowling with florescent bowling balls, thumping house music, pool tables, ice cream and video games, all topped off by a KFC and Pizza Hut.  We ate at Pizza Hut after working up an appetite bowling (after a slow start I got my mojo back, hitting a string of spares to land at 127).  It's the nicest and best-staffed Pizza Hut I've ever experienced.  The decor is much more upscale, with chrome and fashionable wooden furniture.  The service is excellent also.  On the way out I counted 22 staff.  Incredible.

Pao/AznGamerBoi has a great post about the event with lots of pics.  You can read it here.

Charvey Superstar

Well My Public, your long wait and suffering are over.  I have in my hands a DVD copy of the first "Uoc Mo Cua Toi" (My Dream) program featuring yours truly.  I watched some of it tonight and now I think I'm gonna have to get an agent.  It's that good.  The star power nearly melted my computer screen!  I'm definitely demanding a bigger trailer next time.

I tried some screen captures to give My Public what those of us in the Industry call "teaser content" but the copied images always turned out black.  I also gotta convert the video file to something I can edit and upload on Youtube.  I'll figure it out when I get more time, probably not until later this week.  I figure My Public has waited this long, a couple more days won't kill you (or will it?  ;-)).

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, or "Chuc Mung Nam Moi!"  The Vietnamese love a good party and have adopted the Western new year as their own.  Crowds were out in force last night and the streets decked out in holiday finery. 

I tried to capture a bit of the magic in this pic, taken on Le Loi Street at about 12:30am on January 1, 2007.   Those little white lights above the streets are snowflakes.

VietnamWorks is ushering in 2007 with a spanking new office to house our crack team of Tech,  MIS, Sales, Marketing, Customer Care and Product specialists.  Pic taken Friday, December 29.

A few of the advance guard waited impatiently for the movers to deliver the tools of the trade so they could get back to work crushing our competiton.

You're Fired! Part II

Wow, what an enthusiastic response!  The show is pretty fun.  It is very Apprentice-like, with two teams that compete during each show, team leaders, interesting projects, the works. 

Last night the teams set up outside a supermarket.  They were given the same bottles of un-labeled soy sauce and told to think of a brand and a promotion for the sauce, much like a consumer products company would do for a new product launch.  Each team was given 500,000 dong (about $30) and told to create a promotional space with two tables, facing each other across a small plaza in front of the supermarket.  They sprang into action.  In typical Vietnamese style, in no time they both secured sound systems so they could blast music (ABBA's greatest hits, endlessly repeated, was the choice of the day) and their message.  It seems there are speaker rental shops on every block in every city in Vietnam.  The Vietnamese love everything at top volume, all the time.

Each team also had the idea to prepare a dish that uses liberal quantities of soy sauce.  They quickly secured plates, disposable chopsticks, serving dishes and the accompanying groceries.  A few people on each team feverishly decorated their displays with signs, balloons, flowers, etc.  One team found a few candelabras that lent a homey yet festive air to their display as dusk settled over a cool Hanoi evening.

Once each team prepared their dish they were ready to assault the shoppers entering and leaving the store.   Both teams had audio-enhanced barkers shouting out the joys of their brand of soy sauce.  (In actuality, both teams were given the same brand in unmarked bottles.)  ABBA blasted.  Each team sent out runners to pull people in.  Flocks of people descended upon both teams. 

One dish was "bun," or light noodles served with some leafy garnish and garlic minced into the soy sauce.  It was served cold.  The other was stir-fried beef with some kind of tasty Vietnamese vegetable.  Charvey tried both and found each delicious.  But then, a hungry stomach is easy to please.

At the end of the evening there was a clear winner.  Although customers liked both dishes, they recalled the name of one "brand" of soy sauce much more frequently than the other.  They also said they were more likely to try that brand.  The winning team had come up with a short and catchy name for its sauce and religiously stayed on message throughout the evening.  The other team employed some teenage crooners who sang sad love songs and attracted a giggling teenage crowd of the singer's friends.  Teenagers milling around a promotional booth for soy sauce aimed at mothers was not good.  One member from that team knew a famous actress and convinced her to come.  It would have been cool if she had cooked a bit and helped them promote, but she just showed up, chomped a few bites and left.  That didn't help them.

At the end of the evening, we judges adjorned to officially decide on the losing team and select two people to cut from that team.  It wasn't fun, because all the candidates promoted their hearts out and I didn't want to cut anybody.  We finally settled on the team leader and the woman who had pushed the poor promotional ideas.  It was tough, but that's show biz.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to work in "You're fired!" in a smooth way.  I did speak some Vietnamese on camera when we interviewed four customers to ask their opinions on the soy sauce.  It would be cool if that makes it through the editing.

I learned today that we have committed to hire one of the winners.  Funny how the woman on the marketing team who is point on this project never told me that before.  No worries tho -- I would hire any of those women.  Go-getters and great attitudes, all.

The name of the show is "Uoc Mo cua Toi," or "My Dream."  I'm sure I can figure out a way to get it on YouTube when it begins airing on January 9.

You're Fired!

I've got a new gig.  No, it's not running a modeling agency (although I heard of a guy who founded one in Shanghai to meet girls but wound up with a hugely successful modeling agency).  It's as a judge on a "Apprentice"-like reality TV show in Vietnam.  I'm representing VietnamWorks.

I'm tapping out this entry from a hotel in Hanoi where the show is being filmed.  Today we followed the candidates around as they tried to sell postcards to passers-by on the street.  Just like The Apprentice, it included lots of personal drama.  Some candidates are rivals, some are bossy, some are more passive.  No Omarosa though, which kinda disappointed me. 

All the candidates are young women from 22 - 28, to increase the show's appeal to the sponsor's  demographic.  I can tell you, the future of Vietnam is assured in the hands of these young people.  They are kickass go-getters, smart as a whip and totally eager to learn and compete.   One candidate was so wound up, she fainted tonight when we announced her team won the competition.  Oi, the drama!

It warms my capitalist heart to see these young people honing their business instincts and strutting their moxie.  I have no doubt they all will go on to do great things.

And for those of you wondering -- I'm gonna try to sneak in a "You're fired!" on the show even though that's not part of the program.

Saigon Softball

There is an amateur softball "league" in Saigon that started up today after a rainy season hiatus.  I traveled out to the end of the Earth in An Phu (District 2, about 10 miles from my house) to play.  Phil , the athletic director from Saigon County Club, hosted. 

We attracted some attention from some onlookers curious about what the foreigners were doing hitting balls with sticks and running around like madmen.  I wanted to get a pic of the action with an onlooker with a conical hat on, but wasn't fast enough with the camera.  There goes the Pulitzer.

Most participants were Canadian or American, with a few Aussies thrown in for good measure.  Rhonda, the organizer and globe-trotting Canadian expat, had an intimidating T-shirt that said "Middle East Softball Championship."  The level of play was surprisingly high for people who haven't played softball for many months -- the final score was 22 to 16 after about 5 innings with several dramatic hits, plays and catches. In traditional softball style, we capped off the workout with pitchers of cold beer.    It was excellent.

To my Saigon readers: Come on out and play!  We'll be there every Sunday at 3pm barring the country club's need to use the field.  Shoot me an email if you're interested and I'll make sure you get on the mailing list.

By the way, I found out about this from a website with an outstanding summary of business and social events in the expat community.  It's called "Upcoming Events, Eh?" by a guy named Graham Potter.  Check it out.

"Tôi không hiểu tiếng Anh"

I've been making slow but steady progress in learning Vietnamese.  Some people have asked me how.  My answer?  Being lazy.

I'm lazy.  I don't like to study on my own at home or listen to CDs and read along.  I do have a tutor come to the office for 1 hour, four days a week.  We just chat in Vietnamese.  Other than that, though, I don't do any formal studying. 

Instead, I insist everywhere I go that people speak to me in Vietnamese.  When the waitress asks me "What would you like to drink?" in English, I always say "Tôi không hiểu tiếng Anh.  Tôi hiểu tiếng Việt." (I don't understand English.  I understand Vietnamese.)  It's always a good joke, and it lets me practice saying everyday things like "I'd like a Coke with ice" as well as hearing Vietnamese spoken by native speakers.  It's a little thing, but it does add up over time.

There are a few places where the staff speak to me only in Vietnamese now.  A few weeks ago I had lunch with a Singaporean Vietnamese guy at one of these places.  I was particularly proud when, as we were leaving, the waitress said "Goodbye" to him, but said "Hẹn gặp lại anh!" (see you again) to me.  His Vietnamese is about a million times better than mine, but they knew he was Viet Kieu and defaulted to English.  He remarked on it and we both had a good laugh.

No doubt my learning would accelerate if I actually studied.  But as long as I'm making progress I'm happy.

Weekend in Bali

Last weekend I went to Bali, island of the Gods, to meet up with some friends from San Francisco.   Bali probably is the  closest thing to a tropical paradise I've ever experienced, with Costa Rica a close second.  It wasn't too hot (about 80 Fahrenheit), had beautiful beaches, mountains, great food and friendly people.  We also stayed at a totally pimping villa.  It was great.

The weekend consisted of eating, lounging by the pool, massages, reading and touring the island.  This is a shot of the gang after eating a decadent multi-course grilled seafood meal prepared by the staff of our villa.  Having a staff was cool, but was also a bit weird.  They were there all the time, even all night.  I suppose I could get used to it though.  Hungry and want a snack?  Have the staff whip it up and serve it to you next to the pool.

One day we took a tour of the island.  It was a fine, but quite generic and especially touristy.  One stop was at a quarry where the Balinese cut stones for use in building the many temples of the island.  As our guide explained, nearly every family has a temple.  These women were transporting cut stones from the bottom of the quarry to the roadside.  Each stone weighs about 5 kilos, so they are carrying 15 kilos on their head in each trip.  The vertical was about 60 meters.  It seems that women do most of the hard labor in Asia.  Sweet.

A pastoral scene of terraced rice paddies on the tour.  All the green kinda reminded me of Vermont, except different.

Eins, zwei, drei - Oktoberfest in Saigon

Ah, Oktoberfest.  How I love it.  A lucky few of My Public experienced a San Francisco Oktoberfest chez charvey a few years ago.  A good time was had by all.

I don't have time for a long post tonight, but suffice it to say the the Vietnamese *love* Oktoberfest.  Good times, good times.

A German host instructs two young Vietnamese on the good ole saw logging contest.  Ah, the German love of hard work und discipline!

I yelled out "Ein, zwei, drei" and the band leader finished with "zuppa!" (or something that sounded like that).  I got a huge kick out of it.  The German drinking culture rocks.  This band also sang 1950s American do-wop songs as well as the Deutsch boozing favorites.

Two cherubic patrons get into Teutonic party mode.  I was walking by and saw these guys posing for a photographer's picture so I snapped one too.  I think the right word for their expression is "beatific."

Me and my good friend B, enjoying excellent weissbier and the overall Vietnamese / German melange, if you will.

Blog Summit

Tonight I got together for a bite with a couple local celebrities: Mel, the author of "Antidote to Burnout" and Jon, author of "It's the Final Word."  We were mobbed by dozens of screaming women.  A few of them managed to break through our escort and I felt obligated to sign a few autographs.  After all, My Public is My Public.

Between bites of caviar and sips of cognac, we traded tax shelter and publicist tips.  Good guys.  Read their blogs.  If you're too busy, I'm pretty sure the Cliff Notes are available.

My USA Trip

My trip to the USA was fantastic.  It was great to catch up with friends and family again, even though I'd only been gone about 3.5 months.  Here are a few pics.

In Naples, Florida with my Dad and his wife Marty.  They ran me ragged around the court and showed no mercy.  Marty made an outstanding turkey dinner, too (my favorite).

The Men at the conclusion of the Seventh Annual Gathering of Men.  These are my high school buddies.  We get together every year and rent a house in Plymouth, Vermont (the birthplace of 30th President of the United States, Calvin Coolidge).  The weekend is full of manly pursuits such as poker, golf, pool, darts, drinking beer and eating massive quantities of grilled meats.  Featured second from left is the newest and smallest member of the group, Ryan.  He quickly earned our respect by taking everyone's money at the poker table and shotgunning a sixpack.

The late afternoon view looking west over Lake Champlain from a beach near my mother's house in Vermont.  Lake Champlain separates the states of Vermont and New York.  Look carefully at the horizon and you can see the Adirondack mountains of New York state.  Although I grew up there, every time I return I am taken aback anew by its rugged beauty.

Here's the main drag in my hometown of Burlington, Vermont.  You'll note an odd city name paved into the walk -- "Ho Chi Minh City."  The line you see in the left of the picture is an imaginary longitudinal line that runs through Burlington and north-south through the poles around the world.  Names of cities that lie on or near the longitude line are carved into blocks in the pavement.  Two others are Singapore and Puerto Cabezas, Nicaragua.  Pretty cosmopolitan for a small, remote American city.  According to a cool  distance calculation site I found, Burlington is 8,594 miles (13,830 kilometers) from Ho Chi Minh City, aka Saigon. 

Staying in touch with important people in my life takes time and effort, but the rewards are worth a thousand times the investment.  There was a popular song that appeared in 1999 called the "Sunscreen Song."  It features a guy giving advice in a conversational tone set to chill background music.  It contains bits like, "Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on.  Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young."  True.

Listen to the song on YouTube here.

My Native Land

I arrived in Washington, DC on Thursday afternoon after an uneventful 22 hour journey.  It feels great to be back in the USA.  As wonderful and interesting as my life in Vietnam is, it's nice to take a break from being a stranger in a strange land and reconnect with family and good friends.  I read a quote by Sir Walter Scott in a newspaper story on the plane that spoke to me.  It was:

“Breathes there a man with soul so dead that never to himself has said, this is my own, my native land.” 

I know in my heart that that no matter where I go or how comfortable I become overseas, like the priest in the story the USA shall always be "my own, my native land."

Thursday evening I fought through the jet lag and went out with Katie and Hank to the rooftop bar at Clarendon Ballroom. Clarendon Ballroom is quite a scene and Hank had a great time chatting up some of the young ladies. He number closed a few hotties. Hank, you smoothie!

Friday I had lunch with Joe and Jane, the parents of a former colleague of mine.  They've done a lot of importing and exporting between the US and Asia, and now they're interested in Vietnam.  Joe is planning a trip to Vietnam in October.  They entertained me with import/export stories, such as finding and exporting red-colored contact lenses for chickens in Japan (absurd-sounding, yes, but between chuckles they assured me it was true.)

On Friday night I met some business school chums out for a few drinks and dinner at my favorite Arlington restaurant, Harry's.  Pictured below from left to right are my good friends Jim C, Jim S, Vanessa, Andrea and yours truly.  Yes, the bump on Vanessa's belly is a result of more than Andrea's Italian cooking.  She's due on September 7!  Very exciting, guys.

Jim C and I shared the thrills of victory and the agonies of defeat all through first year of b-school on the same "learning team."  Jim S and I were roomies for two years (he knows all my bad habits, and I know his).  Andrea and I commuted and worked together at AOL.  He entertained me with funny stories each morning in his crazy Italian accent.  Ah, good times, good times....  Great to catch up with them and share a few laughs.

I'm in Naples, Florida now visiting my father and his wife, Marty.  My sister Dawn (aka Dawner, Dawnold, the Dawninator) is here too.  Just stuffed myself silly on Marty's cooking.  Life is good.

Off to the USA

In a few hours I'll board a big bird back to the lower 48 for a two week visit.  I have stops planned in Washington DC, Vermont and Florida. 

DC will be a good time with the peeps.  Vermont and Florida is folk time with ma,pa and sis.  A good chunk of my Vermont time will be spent at the Seventh Annual Gathering of Men though.  It's an annual reunion for about eight of my high school buddies.  We rent a big farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, Vermont, where there is no Internet access or mobile phone service (this is key, so none of the guys can call their wives or vice-versa).  There will be much beer drunk, cards played, and trash-talking exchanged.   Special prize for the best trash-talking.

Don't despair, My Public.  I will send at least one or two dispatches from the road.  'Til then, adios.

Oh, I love the nightlife (part 2)

Had a great time last night.  Went out with a few Vietnamese friends to a local "bifsteak" joint serving simple beef dishes.  Think Denny's, but Vietnam-style.  Then we went to Yoko's, an intimate local cafe with live music on weekends.  Yes, it is named for Yoko Ono, the former wife of Beetle John Lennon.

We got there at 8pm but the music didn't start until 9pm.  I used the time to practice some tieng viet with my friends Phuong and Pha Le.  They are hilarious.  It was great because I'm now getting to a point where I can have decent, albeit simple, conversations with Vietnamese.  The other day I was in the elevator and I even understood a joke someone told to his friend.  It was like, "light bulb!"  It was funny too.

The first performer was an older woman, probably around 55-60.  She belted (and I mean belted) out some Motown and other old hits.  In my minds eye I envisioned her in a smoky, boisterous Saigon club 35 years ago.  I'd put money on it.  She was great.  The next singer was Phuong (different Phuong from my friend -- Phuong is a very common name here), a young woman in her 20s who sings contemporary covers with great passion.  Most of the time she sings with her eyes closed, and the emotion of each song plays out across her expressive features.  We had front row seats in this tiny venue.  Great stuff.

Phuong and Pha Le went home around 9:30.  I went to La Habana for the second half of Swing Night to meet my friend Jon and few other regulars.  A Canadian guy, Michel, and a French Vietnamese girl, Catherine, started teaching swing classes for free a few months ago.  It's lots of fun.  I got pretty into swing about 10 years ago when I lived in DC.  It's fun to pick it up again.  If you're in Saigon, check out Michel's website, Saigon Swing.

Around 11pm Jon and I went to a Japanese bar, Sanho, for saki.  Sanho's gimmick is fish tanks scattered throughout the bar filled with exotic species.  One fish looked like a rat, I swear, face and all.  The highlight of Sanho in my opinion though is a juvenile crocodile in an aquarium.  He's about 2.5 feet long.  There's a magnet sheathed in floating plastic on the inside of the tank, and a sister magnet on the outside.  You can manipulate the magnet on the inside using the one on the outside.  The whole objective is to fool around with the croc.  At first I thought this was cruel and unusual for the croc.  After a while, though, I came to realize that the croc loves playing with the magnet.  I moved it around the tank a little far from him and he rushed over to check it out and attack.  I didn't even touch him, but he tracked it closely and lunged at it when it got close.  I concluded that he likes it.  He's gotta be bored out of his mind in that tank so drunk people manipulating a magnet in his tank must be a welcome diversion.  Now, before you judge, just consider that I may be right (I am).  It's great fun for both sides. 

Tôi tên là Lâm (My name is Lâm)

Whoa, check it out - tôi víêt tíêng vịêt.  Cảm ơn Doan Thuc và Thông.

Vietnamese folks have a hard time pronouncing and remembering "Chris," so I've chosen a Vietnamese name.  It's "Lâm" (pronounced like "lum").  It means "forrest" in Vietnamese and is a good fit because that's my middle name in English.

I've taken to introducing myself as "Lâm" because it's just easier.  Naturally, Vietnamese people think this is hysterically funny.  I usually get a variation of "What?  But that's a Vietnamese name!  You're not Vietnamese!" delivered between giggles.  I like to shoot back "Không.  Tôi là người vịêt.  Tôi không hiểu tiếng anh.  Tôi nói tiếng vịet." (No.  I'm Vietnamese.  I don't understand English.  I speak Vietnamese.)  More laughter ensues.

Vietnamese names are pretty interesting.  Women's names are all gentle and/or beautiful, like Hoa (flower), Bình (peace), Phượng (phoenix) and Trinh (chaste).  Men's names are all manly and strong, like Quân (soldier),  Dũng (valiant), Thông (pine tree) and, of course, Lâm (forrest).

Tieng Viet/English Club

So I started my own club.  It's very exclusive.  So exclusive, in fact, there are only three members including myself.  Don't even ask me about trying to get in.  The hazing and initiation are more than you could bear.

Doan Thuc (left, pronounced like "dwayne top") and Thong (right, pronounced like "tom" said quickly) are my Tieng Viet sparring partners over coffee every Sunday at 10am.  Both are 20-something Vietnamese who are eager to practice English.  They speak quite well already and certainly have better pronunciation on some words than I do.  They're also great teachers who will absolutely *not* let me off the hook until I can pronounce a word.  Their favorite torture method is the word for "Wednesday," "Thu tu."  I just hate that one.  The "th" sound in Vietnamese is tricky.  Plus the "u" sound is amazingly tricky, kinda like an "ooof!" pronounced unnaturally deep in your throat (see my Learning Vietnamese post).  Combined with having to produce both the "th" and "t" sounds ("t" is pronounced almost like "d" in certain situations) it's deadly.  My teacher joked that I should never schedule anything on Wednesday.  Haha.

Genuine Texas BBQ in Saigon

Hey Pardners,

I wanted y'all to know that thar's damn fine genuine Texas BBQ smack in the middle of Saigon.

A few nights ago I was having a drink with Steve, an American friend here, and mentioned that I had seen this crazy looking Texas BBQ place on the way to he airport. "Oh, I know that place!  Let's go there for dinner." Fantastic idea.

Initially I was skeptical.  Texas BBQ in Vietnam? The Vietnamese just don't know what to do with big hunks of meat.  I'm not sure their stomachs would know what to do with it either.  But alas, there it was.  We ordered nachos and guac (damn good), wings and, of course, Texas BBQ.  It delivered.  Steve told me that the owner is a Vietnamese-American guy from Houston.  The "chef" (do you call Texas BBQ men chefs?) is a born and bred Texan as well.  Good eatin'.

The decor was a little on the cheesy side but not over the top.  It looked like I'd imagine a Texas BBQ theme restaurant to look like, with signs like "Sherriff" and "H&W Bank" on the walls.  There was also a neon cowboy with a swinging arm, just like in Vegas.  I know that Vegas isn't Texas, but it fit with the general Texan theme nevertheless. 

Completing the effect was a geniune Texas two-step class (I have no idea if that's the right name - I think I picked up that term on TV somewhere).  It was great.  I'm not sure that Texas Two-Step is danced to Eddie Rabbit's "I Love a Rainy Night" though.  Any Texans care to comment?

 

Weekly Update

Hey Public, it's been a pretty busy week.  Highlights:

Radio Paradise
It's Sunday night and I'm listening to Radio Paradise.  It's an excellent free Internet radio station that broadcasts at a bit rate up to 192.  The music is very chill and cool, the kind of stuff you put on and close your eyes to listen to, or you put on for relaxed background music while you cook dinner (not that I cook) or drink tea (not that I drink tea).  Check out the playlist here.  Special thanks to Marky Mark Pendergrast for telling me about this station.

Found a House
I gots me some digs to call my own now in the City formerly (and still, really) known as Saigon.  It's on Cach Mang Thang Tam Street, which means "August Revolution" and refers to the date in 1945 when Ho Chi Minh declared the independence of Viet Nam.  I can't pronounce the name yet though.  I figure I better learn how to pronounce the street name if I'm gonna live there.  It's a nice little place with a kitchen, two bathrooms, a living/dining room combo and an extra bedroom.  I have to register with the local government and get permission to live there.  Although that's routine and everyone has to do that, it's a reminder that I'm not in Kansas any more.  Back Stateside you can move anywhere, anytime and no one can say "boo" about it.  Makes you think, dunnit?

I'm gonna be a car magnate
I had an idea about importing used cars from the USA to Viet Nam.  The tax laws recently changed here, making it easier to import autos.  There's still some uncertainty, but that should be cleared up in a month or two.  I've established a relationship with an attorney here and also bounced the idea off a Vietnamese friend of mine who offered to put me in touch with a few people on the retail side here.  Who knows, the idea may go nowhere.  But it's certainly worth some investigation.  I'm really interested because I just wanna sit in a trailer and chomp on cigars.

By the way, it looks like I'm headed down to the Mekong Delta for a short visit in a few days.  There's a marketing exposition on agricultural and handcraft products from the Mekong.  Gonna check it out.  Maybe some clever Vietnamese have figured out how to make a flat screen LCD TV from bamboo.  Man, I would make a killing!

Saigon Swing
There's nascent swing culture emerging in Saigon.  A Canadian guy and his French girlfriend are starting twice monthly group lessons.  I took swing back in the day and it's like riding a bike.  I wowed 'em with the pretzel.  It was a ton of fun.  Check out the funky website here.

Charvey the Learner, Charvey the Master
I've met a couple Vietnamese, Doan Thuc and Thuong, who are teaching me some tieng viet.  They're good peeps.  We meet every Sunday for coffee to chat I speak English with them.  I get to practice my still rudimentary Vietnamese and they get to ask me stuff like "What's the difference between 'to make' and 'to do'?"  There are some subtle differences in Vietnamese sounds that honestly are hard for me even to hear.  That is humbling, because I'm accustomed to picking this stuff up pretty fast (hence charvey the learner).  But on the other hand, I speak English quite well most days (hence charvey the master).  It's a fun tradition.

A Very Busy Day

What a day.  Extremely busy from the get go.  I'm sitting here, exhausted and covered in road dust and fumes galore.  But it's been great.

I arrived at "tieng viet" ("vietnamese" in vietnamese, pronounced pretty much nothing like it looks) class this morning at 8:15.  Class had been starting at 8:00 but that just didn't give me enough time to get motivated my act together and have my coffee in the morning.  So I moved it back to 8:15.  And just like Robert Frost said, that has made all the difference.  I was way more with it this morning -- chipper, even -- and my teacher, Miss Thuy, didn't make fun of how tired I looked for once.  I explained to her that I'm just not a morning person. 

Anyway, the lesson this morning was great.  We are beginning to move on from pronunciation and learn some grammar and a little vocabulary.  Grammar is way easy, so it's getting more interesting.  Today I learned to say "I like to drink beer" ("Toi thich uo'ng bia").  It was one small step for a man but a massive leap for this man's lifestyle.  I also began learning more pronouns.  They're kinda complex in Vietnamese.  There are many words that mean "you" in Viet.  It depends on the gender, age and relationship of the person to you.   Gender is obvious, age and status aren't.  "Ong" is reserved for older gentlemen or very senior dudes (like government members and CEOs), while "ba" is used for grandmotherly types or a polite way to address a very high status and somewhat older woman.  I made fun of the girls at my hotel by calling all of them "em" (loosely translated as "you" meaning "younger sister") and one of them "ba" and the one singled out got pretty mad.  A good laugh was had by all.

Language class over at 9:30 I walked back my hotel, the Mogambo.  It's about a 12 minute walk.  The Vietnamese can't believe I walk that far ("What -- you no have motorbike?!") and think I'm crazy.  I tell them how Vietnam reminds me of LA in this respect but I think the observation is lost on them.  No one walks here except those that are too poor to afford a bike.

I get picked up at 10 by Sebastian, my real estate agent, to look at an apartment.  He was born in Vietnam but raised in France.  The dude is totally, and I mean totally, French.  Not only his accent, but the way he carries himself, his sense of humor, everything.  I like the Frenchies here.

I'm in the office by 11 and stay until 6:00.  Then I have an appointment to look at some more places with another agent.  I hop on a ubiquitous "xe om" taxi.  Xe om taxis are just guys with motorbikes who hang out on street corners looking to give rides and make a buck.  They're cheap and convenient if you don't mind more death-defying thrills between point A and point B than a roller coaster at Paramount (but no safety bar).  And you gotta negotiate the fare every time.  And these guys almost *never* have any change for larger bills (change is always a problem in Vietnam so I make sure I got it at all times now).  Well anyway the guy I handed the address to this time was clueless.  We drove around the city for 20 minutes, me choking on fumes and trying not to look as we rushed headlong into and cut across oncoming traffic.  At one point I said "Can thun!" (a new word I learned that means "look out") and the guy smiles and shouts "no problem!" with a wave of his hand as he swerves dangerously around a another bike. Well eventually the agent calls me to find out where I am and I put the xe om guy on the phone.  He's talking for like 5 minutes as I think "Well I have no idea what he's saying but oh boy this is taking a long time and that can't be good."  Eventually after another false start we get there and the guy has the chutzpah to hit me up for more money since it took so long.  Although I admire the chutzpah there's no way I'm giving him more money.  "You should have known where it was!" I say, chiding him and giving him a hard time.  He grins sheepishly and takes off.  Oh well can't blame him for trying.

Two more xe om rides and two more apartments later I'm trying to communicate with another driver.  This time I call the agent and hand the driver the phone.  He takes it, but looks at it like I just handed him a lightly fried weasel.  Then he hands it to a cab driver who pulls alongside, as if to say "What the hell is this?"  Eventually I get him to hold it to his ear, but he's holding the wrong end and shouting "hello!  hello!".  Oy.  The agent hangs up and he hands the phone back to me like it's a hot potato.  It occurs to me that the guy may never have talked on a cell phone before.  I am truly among the innocent.  I know I'm sort of close to the next apt so I shove a crumpled bill into the guy's hand.  He's happy and takes off.  I find the agent but the landlord has left because we were late.  Such is life in Viet Nam.

I have an excellent club sandwich at a cool little Irish bar a few blocks from my hotel.  I take the opportunity to practice Viet with everyone I come in contact with.  Speaking Viet must be rare for foreigners because 3 out of 4 times I get a very surprised reaction, followed by a rapid query in Vietnamese.  Once they figure out I can't say much they talk to me slowly, loudly and patiently like a differently-abled child.  That's great because it's easier to understand that way.  One Viet guy working at the bar hears me struggling to order in Vietnamese, then comes over to introduce himself and give me his card.  He's a photograper and invites  me to visit his studio and see his photographs.

At 8pm I meet a 24 year old kid named Viet and his girlfriend Vui to practice English and maybe a little Viet.  I met him on the street a few weeks ago while I waited outside a store for my mom and aunt to buy every pair of shoes in the place.  I gave him my contact info and he has been on me like white on rice ever since to get together and practice.  I was getting a little annoyed, but a promise is a promise and I met with him.  He turned out to be quite charming, if still a little intense.  We made small talk in English.  I practiced a little Viet and showed them some pictures from the States.  Even the waitresses at the cafe were getting into the act, trying to teach me new words.  Everyone here is a teacher.  I'll probably see Viet again, but need to take him in small doses. 

I'm in my hotel room now.  World Cup fever is afoot.  Australia just beat Japan and I heard much cheering from the bar next door.  The Euros here are nutty about the World Cup.  It's like a 2 week long superbowl.  The Viets like it too.  I was out walking on Saturday night and people had TVs set up on sidewalks. 

That's it for now.  Good night, and good luck.

Learning Vietnamese

Ok, so I've started learning Vietnamese.  It ain't easy, but I suppose nothing worthwhile is.

I've hired a private tutor at the Indochine Vietnamese Language School for a beginner course that runs 100 hours.  Her  name is Miss Thuy ("twee" is a very rough approximation of how to pronounce her name -- the "th" sounds more like an aspirated "t" and the "-uy" sounds more like a short "oi" in English).  Thuy has glacial patience and a good sense of humor; both are necessary during our thrice weekly 1.5 hour sessions as I skewer her native tongue.

The first thing I noticed about Vietnamese is that the use of a modified Roman alphabet is deceptive.  Many of the letters have entirely different sounds in Vietnamese than they do in English.  So pronouncing words as you would read them using English pronunciation rules pretty much guarantees a blank stare from the person with whom you're trying to communicate (I know this from experience). 

The first phase of my language course focuses on learning the different sounds and tying them closely to the written language.  This ain't easy either, because there are sounds in Vietnamese that just don't exist in English.  Trying to pronounce them is like taking up a new sport and exercising muscles you never, ever use.  Just like learning a good golf swing, you gotta get your mouth, tongue and throat muscles used to contorting in ways that make them recoil in fear and confusion. 

Another big challenge is the Vietnamese tonal system.  There are six tones in Vietnamese, and they freaking matter.  For example, you can say the word "ma" using six different tones and it means six different things.  I'm sure you can already anticipate the many gaffes that tones, or rather misuse of tones, lead to as foreigners learn the language.  I can only hope that using the wrong tones doesn't turn the phrase "Excuse me, where may I find the restroom?" into "I have a fine selection of stolen merchandise in my van".  It's a comfort to know that already one of my friends has offered to pull a Chuck Norris in case I say the wrong thing and end up in a cage somewhere.

Those challenges aside, Vietnamese grammar is ridiculously easy.  I don't know much yet, but I do know that there is no verb conjugation (sweet!), no definite/indefinite articles, no plural and no possessives.  For example on the possessives -- you say "mother me" to indicate "my mother".  That applies to everything that might be yours.  Cake.  Another example is nationalities.  There is no word for "American" or "German" or "Chinese" -- they simply say "person America" (nguoi my) or "person China" to indicate nationality.

To get a sense for the sounds of the Vietnamese language, check out this site.  Give your mouth muscles a workout and try to pronounce some of the words.  (Note: You will need Shockwave in order to play the sounds.)

Till next time, tam biet!

Tennis Anyone? (just couldn't resist ;-))

Dad and Marty, you'll be happy to know that I've found a great place to play tennis here in Saigon.  It's the Lan Anh Club.  They have an indoor court with stadium seating, seven outdoor courts, a squash court, a pool and a fully equipped gym and lockers complete with sauna.  It's quite excellent.  The courts are all hard surface (just like the US Open).  In fact, there is a women's tournament going on right now although didn't catch any of the action.  From my limited experience it seems that there's a bona fide tennis culture already established and gathering strength in Vietnam.

An American friend introduced me to the club and set me up with a local pro, Yung.  Although Yung's English is pretty much limited to "low to high" (90% of a good stroke) I can see already that playing with him regularly will improve my game a lot.  We did some forehand, backhand and volley drills, with Yung modeling the best strokes and showing me what I needed to improve.  I think you'd like Yung, Pops, because he tells me the same stuff you do -- don't back up, low to high, and keep my wrist firm on ground strokes.  An added bonus to the session was having a ball boy.  My friend, who's been in Vietnam for years, told me that he "doesn't even remember how to pick up balls anymore."  Sweet.