charvey in Vietnam

Ahhhh, TV

Just a quickie here.  I moved into my new place a few days ago.  It's great and I'll post a full description with pics this weekend, probably.  But first I just wanna tell you about my TV.

I get about 15 English-language channels and lots of American programming.  The other night I watched Leno interview Kevin Spacey on the new Superman movie.  Last night I was riveted (and I mean riveted) by a TV movie about the human drama behind the scenes during the 70s/80s sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes."  Ah, the pathos of Gary Coleman.  Has he not suffered enough?

Don't ask me how, but I remember watching the premiere of that show with my sister and father in 1978 like it was yesterday.  We thought it was absolutely hilarious.  "What-chooo talkin' 'bout Willis?!"

I love the TV.  I forgot how much I miss the TV.  Its warm embrace is like a Denny's Grand Slam breakfast when you're drunk at 3am. 

One bummer though is that although I get Cartoon Network, Adult Swim doesn't air in Asia.  I'm dying to watch the new episodes of my favorties "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," "Family Guy" and "Venture Bros."  I found a website, Adult Swim Fix, that streams full length versions of the shows but it won't let IPs outside the US access the streams.  Is there anyone out there smarter than me who knows how to fool the Cartoon Network server into thinking I'm located in the USA?  I've tried a couple anonymous surfing sites but they haven't worked.  My Public, I'm counting on you!

My Home Away from Home

Since I arrived in Viet Nam I've been staying at the Mogambo Hotel.  It's a mini-hotel with about 10 rooms run by an American guy and his Vietnamese-American wife.  There's a bar and restaurant downstairs.  It's theme gives real meaning to the word "eclectic."  First, think bamboo.  Then imagine lots and lots of glazed bamboo covering every square inch of the walls and ceiling.  Add stuffed animals (and I don't mean the cuddly kind, but real, stuffed, dead animals like tigers and such), pictures of the owners hanging out with Tom Selleck, and lots of expat guys drinking beer, socializing and watching "footie" on the "telly" you just might begin to get a sense for the place.  It's great.

Mogambo changes the sheets and washes the floor in my room every day.  They also do my laundry and ironing.  I've never had it so good. 

The thing that makes it especially great is the people.  Miss Thuy, the manager, and the girls that staff the restaurant and bar are certified, card-carrying characters.  They're also extraordinarily helpful.  Need a car to tour the Cu Chi tunnels or find an optometrist?  Thuy will take care of it with a big smile.  The girls have taken a vested interest in teaching me Vietnamese.  I'm not sure who's more entertained....me, as they tease each other mercilessly, or them, as I make mistakes like saying "I'm going to my boyfriend" instead of "I'm going walking" because I use a falling instead of rising tone.  To them, my learning Vietnamese is a gas.

Mike and Lanni, the owners, are cool too.  It's great to walk into the Mogambo after a long day and be greeted by name, "Hi Chris."  Lanni is truly a larger than life character.  Spouting salty language that would make a sailor blush, she runs the place with panache and verve.  Get a crappy haircut?  Belch just a bit too loud?  She'll tell you as bluntly as can be.   She's also as connected as they come here and is a good person to know.  She was giving me advice today: "You listen to Mamma Lanni.  She knows!"   Words to live by.

Friends of Friends are Friends of Charvey

It's funny...you move to Viet Nam and suddenly you find out that people you know have all sorts of connections with people in Viet Nam, people traveling to Viet Nam, or people who want to do business in Viet Nam.  I say to My Public, bring 'em on!

Some friends of my former Yahoo! colleague, Jason M, emailed me a few weeks ago about their imminent visit to Saigon.  Audra and Jonathan are on a 100 day Southeast Asia odyssey all the way from New Orleans, Louisiana.  I figured if JM knew them they were good peeps.  I was right -- many moments of enjoyable hilarity ensued.

We connected earlier this week for dinner at Augustin, a tasty restaurant francais, and took in a performance at the Saigon Opera House.  During the first performance set the Ho Chi Minh City Orchestra performed some Mozart and cello pieces, accompanied by a guest conductor and cellist from France.  They were quite good.  I especially enjoyed the emotional expressions playing out over the French cellist's face during the highs and lows of the piece.  Il a joue avec la passion du monde.

The second set had the cellist playing solo while a half-naked guy performed "interpretive dance" with some ropes under continually changing spotlights and lighting.  Although at first this didn't, ahem, speak to me, once I started to imagine my own interpretations for the dance it became much more interesting.  For example, at one point the dancer moved between two ropes stretched across the stage and suspended in parallel about a meter in the air.  A bright spotlight shining from the left side of the stage was the only light.  He struggled to move toward the light as if swimming upstream against a swift current.  I imagined that this was his struggle to understand and embrace the desires deep within his heart and remain true to them in the face of adversity and temptation.  The light symbolized truth, and it became brighter and harsher the closer he came to it.  In fact, he sometimes turned away from the brightness and lost ground, as if he found it challenging to acknowledge his deepest desires.  The parallel ropes symbolized two dimensions of movement -- either towards or away from our hearts.  Not bad eh?

Audra, Jonathan and I went out again on Wednesday night.  We swapped jokes and travel stories while eating at Cafe Latin on Duong Du.  Cafe Latin serves apple pie a la mode that is quite good -- flaky crust, warm, good chunks of apples and texture and delicious vanilla ice cream.  It did need more cinnamon though.  I mentioned this to the waiter and the next thing I knew Neil, the chef, was at the table asking my opinion of how to improve his apple pie.  "Ah yes.  Americans like extra cinnamon.  Let me know the next time you're here and I'll make it special for you."  Hey alright, that's service.  Thanks Neil!

Audra and Jonathan have a blog of their trip adventures.  Check out their very entertaining stories in "100 Days in Asia."  They take turns submitting blogging entries.  It's funny to hear their different perspectives, opinions and sometimes disagreements get aired in this public forum.  Imagine dueling banjos, but in blog form and you'll see what I mean.

Thanks for sending Jonathan and Audra my way, Jason.  And to the rest of My Public -- you can send your cool peeps my way too.  I'm always ready for visitors.

Good Eatin'

I have been pleasantly surprised with the range and quality of international cuisine options in Saigon.  You can find decent American burgers, German pig knuckles, Indian and Thai curry, Chinese, Sushi, Korean BBQ, French and even Hungarian (don't ask me what Hungarian food is like -- I haven't a clue.  Goulash?) 

Tonight I ate tout seul at a very tasty and inexpensive little French place, "Le Jardin," on Thi Sach Street.  A French guy told me about it and there were lots of Frenchies there so that's how I knew it had to be good.  I had a massive salad (I ate it just so I could put it on this post, Mom) and the "Pork Chops with Provence Herbs."  Man that sounded good and it was.  I had mashed potatoes with it too that musta had a pound of butter mixed in.  But oh boy was it good.  The French can't do beer worth a hoot, but they got the food and wine down pretty good.

Ok, I'm off to watch the USA crush Ghana in the World Cup at an American sports bar called "The Bottom Line."  They have meatloaf almost as good as my mom's.

If you want to learn more about food in Saigon, check out a blog called Noodlepie.  It makes me hungry just looking at it.

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Golden Reclining Buddha, Bangkok

Ok, I'm pretty late with this post.  Mom and I went to Bangkok a few weeks ago and hit the highlights.  One of them was the Temple of the Reclining Buddha, aka Wat Pho, aka Wat Phra Chetuphon Vimolmangklararm Rajwaramahaviharn (try saying that backwards and you'll evaporate in a puff of dark smoke).  It was impressive.  My favorite feature is not the size, or the golden hue, or the massive feet.  It was the peaceful and chill expression on the buddha.  Those Buddists may -- just may -- be onto something.

Anyway, I took a pretty good video so here it is.  By the way, that snorting sound you hear a few times during the first 30 seconds of video ain't me. 

Weekly Update

Hey Public, it's been a pretty busy week.  Highlights:

Radio Paradise
It's Sunday night and I'm listening to Radio Paradise.  It's an excellent free Internet radio station that broadcasts at a bit rate up to 192.  The music is very chill and cool, the kind of stuff you put on and close your eyes to listen to, or you put on for relaxed background music while you cook dinner (not that I cook) or drink tea (not that I drink tea).  Check out the playlist here.  Special thanks to Marky Mark Pendergrast for telling me about this station.

Found a House
I gots me some digs to call my own now in the City formerly (and still, really) known as Saigon.  It's on Cach Mang Thang Tam Street, which means "August Revolution" and refers to the date in 1945 when Ho Chi Minh declared the independence of Viet Nam.  I can't pronounce the name yet though.  I figure I better learn how to pronounce the street name if I'm gonna live there.  It's a nice little place with a kitchen, two bathrooms, a living/dining room combo and an extra bedroom.  I have to register with the local government and get permission to live there.  Although that's routine and everyone has to do that, it's a reminder that I'm not in Kansas any more.  Back Stateside you can move anywhere, anytime and no one can say "boo" about it.  Makes you think, dunnit?

I'm gonna be a car magnate
I had an idea about importing used cars from the USA to Viet Nam.  The tax laws recently changed here, making it easier to import autos.  There's still some uncertainty, but that should be cleared up in a month or two.  I've established a relationship with an attorney here and also bounced the idea off a Vietnamese friend of mine who offered to put me in touch with a few people on the retail side here.  Who knows, the idea may go nowhere.  But it's certainly worth some investigation.  I'm really interested because I just wanna sit in a trailer and chomp on cigars.

By the way, it looks like I'm headed down to the Mekong Delta for a short visit in a few days.  There's a marketing exposition on agricultural and handcraft products from the Mekong.  Gonna check it out.  Maybe some clever Vietnamese have figured out how to make a flat screen LCD TV from bamboo.  Man, I would make a killing!

Saigon Swing
There's nascent swing culture emerging in Saigon.  A Canadian guy and his French girlfriend are starting twice monthly group lessons.  I took swing back in the day and it's like riding a bike.  I wowed 'em with the pretzel.  It was a ton of fun.  Check out the funky website here.

Charvey the Learner, Charvey the Master
I've met a couple Vietnamese, Doan Thuc and Thuong, who are teaching me some tieng viet.  They're good peeps.  We meet every Sunday for coffee to chat I speak English with them.  I get to practice my still rudimentary Vietnamese and they get to ask me stuff like "What's the difference between 'to make' and 'to do'?"  There are some subtle differences in Vietnamese sounds that honestly are hard for me even to hear.  That is humbling, because I'm accustomed to picking this stuff up pretty fast (hence charvey the learner).  But on the other hand, I speak English quite well most days (hence charvey the master).  It's a fun tradition.

A Very Busy Day

What a day.  Extremely busy from the get go.  I'm sitting here, exhausted and covered in road dust and fumes galore.  But it's been great.

I arrived at "tieng viet" ("vietnamese" in vietnamese, pronounced pretty much nothing like it looks) class this morning at 8:15.  Class had been starting at 8:00 but that just didn't give me enough time to get motivated my act together and have my coffee in the morning.  So I moved it back to 8:15.  And just like Robert Frost said, that has made all the difference.  I was way more with it this morning -- chipper, even -- and my teacher, Miss Thuy, didn't make fun of how tired I looked for once.  I explained to her that I'm just not a morning person. 

Anyway, the lesson this morning was great.  We are beginning to move on from pronunciation and learn some grammar and a little vocabulary.  Grammar is way easy, so it's getting more interesting.  Today I learned to say "I like to drink beer" ("Toi thich uo'ng bia").  It was one small step for a man but a massive leap for this man's lifestyle.  I also began learning more pronouns.  They're kinda complex in Vietnamese.  There are many words that mean "you" in Viet.  It depends on the gender, age and relationship of the person to you.   Gender is obvious, age and status aren't.  "Ong" is reserved for older gentlemen or very senior dudes (like government members and CEOs), while "ba" is used for grandmotherly types or a polite way to address a very high status and somewhat older woman.  I made fun of the girls at my hotel by calling all of them "em" (loosely translated as "you" meaning "younger sister") and one of them "ba" and the one singled out got pretty mad.  A good laugh was had by all.

Language class over at 9:30 I walked back my hotel, the Mogambo.  It's about a 12 minute walk.  The Vietnamese can't believe I walk that far ("What -- you no have motorbike?!") and think I'm crazy.  I tell them how Vietnam reminds me of LA in this respect but I think the observation is lost on them.  No one walks here except those that are too poor to afford a bike.

I get picked up at 10 by Sebastian, my real estate agent, to look at an apartment.  He was born in Vietnam but raised in France.  The dude is totally, and I mean totally, French.  Not only his accent, but the way he carries himself, his sense of humor, everything.  I like the Frenchies here.

I'm in the office by 11 and stay until 6:00.  Then I have an appointment to look at some more places with another agent.  I hop on a ubiquitous "xe om" taxi.  Xe om taxis are just guys with motorbikes who hang out on street corners looking to give rides and make a buck.  They're cheap and convenient if you don't mind more death-defying thrills between point A and point B than a roller coaster at Paramount (but no safety bar).  And you gotta negotiate the fare every time.  And these guys almost *never* have any change for larger bills (change is always a problem in Vietnam so I make sure I got it at all times now).  Well anyway the guy I handed the address to this time was clueless.  We drove around the city for 20 minutes, me choking on fumes and trying not to look as we rushed headlong into and cut across oncoming traffic.  At one point I said "Can thun!" (a new word I learned that means "look out") and the guy smiles and shouts "no problem!" with a wave of his hand as he swerves dangerously around a another bike. Well eventually the agent calls me to find out where I am and I put the xe om guy on the phone.  He's talking for like 5 minutes as I think "Well I have no idea what he's saying but oh boy this is taking a long time and that can't be good."  Eventually after another false start we get there and the guy has the chutzpah to hit me up for more money since it took so long.  Although I admire the chutzpah there's no way I'm giving him more money.  "You should have known where it was!" I say, chiding him and giving him a hard time.  He grins sheepishly and takes off.  Oh well can't blame him for trying.

Two more xe om rides and two more apartments later I'm trying to communicate with another driver.  This time I call the agent and hand the driver the phone.  He takes it, but looks at it like I just handed him a lightly fried weasel.  Then he hands it to a cab driver who pulls alongside, as if to say "What the hell is this?"  Eventually I get him to hold it to his ear, but he's holding the wrong end and shouting "hello!  hello!".  Oy.  The agent hangs up and he hands the phone back to me like it's a hot potato.  It occurs to me that the guy may never have talked on a cell phone before.  I am truly among the innocent.  I know I'm sort of close to the next apt so I shove a crumpled bill into the guy's hand.  He's happy and takes off.  I find the agent but the landlord has left because we were late.  Such is life in Viet Nam.

I have an excellent club sandwich at a cool little Irish bar a few blocks from my hotel.  I take the opportunity to practice Viet with everyone I come in contact with.  Speaking Viet must be rare for foreigners because 3 out of 4 times I get a very surprised reaction, followed by a rapid query in Vietnamese.  Once they figure out I can't say much they talk to me slowly, loudly and patiently like a differently-abled child.  That's great because it's easier to understand that way.  One Viet guy working at the bar hears me struggling to order in Vietnamese, then comes over to introduce himself and give me his card.  He's a photograper and invites  me to visit his studio and see his photographs.

At 8pm I meet a 24 year old kid named Viet and his girlfriend Vui to practice English and maybe a little Viet.  I met him on the street a few weeks ago while I waited outside a store for my mom and aunt to buy every pair of shoes in the place.  I gave him my contact info and he has been on me like white on rice ever since to get together and practice.  I was getting a little annoyed, but a promise is a promise and I met with him.  He turned out to be quite charming, if still a little intense.  We made small talk in English.  I practiced a little Viet and showed them some pictures from the States.  Even the waitresses at the cafe were getting into the act, trying to teach me new words.  Everyone here is a teacher.  I'll probably see Viet again, but need to take him in small doses. 

I'm in my hotel room now.  World Cup fever is afoot.  Australia just beat Japan and I heard much cheering from the bar next door.  The Euros here are nutty about the World Cup.  It's like a 2 week long superbowl.  The Viets like it too.  I was out walking on Saturday night and people had TVs set up on sidewalks. 

That's it for now.  Good night, and good luck.

The Mysterious Piano Player

For the past several weeks I've been hearing someone practice piano in the evenings in an apartment adjacent to my hotel and just outside my window.  The music varies from night to night and sometimes from minute to minute.  My favorite song and the song most frequently practiced is one that is hauntingly beautiful.  It's slow, dreamy, nostalgic and a little sad.  Like a tenderly remembered, cherished memory of a love gone  by.   I wish I knew what it was.

No More Gravy Train

Well peeps, the gravy train had to end sometime.  Nearly two full months of being gainfully unemployed.  I got up when I felt like it, watched whatever I wanted on TV, drank coffee, read the paper, road tripped up the East Coast, stuffed myself with mama charvey's cooking in Vermont, chilled chez Vu and partied like a rock star in San Francisco (I felt so in the know when we went to that after hours warehouse club in soma), took side trips to Cambodia, Bangkok and into the Vietnamese countryside with the folks.  Glorious times, all.   But alas, it has ended.

It's all good though.  On Wednesday I started working on a consulting project for Vietnamworks.  It's an online job site, similar to Monster or Hotjobs.  Initially I'm doing a business overview of the entire site, with the intent of choosing a few areas (such as customer service and sales) to focus on and come up with concrete suggestions for improving traffic, sales and profitability.  Just in case I don't come up with anything good I have a really slick powerpoint template prepared.  Style triumphs over substance every time my friends.

I'm also going to do some consulting for another Internet-oriented company here called Vinagame.  They are what's known as an MMOG company -- Massively Multiplayer Online Gaming.  It seems that young Vietnamese are gaga over playing fantasy and action games online with their friends.  Go into any Internet cafe here and you'll see about 40% of the patrons playing an online game. 

A few weeks ago I went to a spectacular Vinagame media event announcing the launch of a new game.  It was more of a show than a media event -- there were dancers, bongo drum players, videos and a pounding soundtrack (the Vietnamese love everything at top volume, all the time).  The highlight though was about 30 models all dressed as a popular female character from the game mixing with the crowd.  It was like something out of a Hollywood gala.

Another business area I've become interested in is exporting furniture to the USA.  There are tons of furniture maufacturers here.  Not only is their quality high, but their prices are lower than other Asian competitors.  Lots of expats I've met here are into the furniture business and doing rather well.  So -- if any of you know furniture retailers or distributors in the USA who might be interested in finding a new, high quality source of furniture let me know.  You can view some samples of Vietnamese furniture at this website.

My Public may rest assured that there will be more boondoggles in the future.  On the short list are Phnom Penh, Hue, Dalat and Nha Trang.  The lowdown on each will be posted here, oh yes.  Also wanna visit Manila, Singapore, China and Japan.

Learning Vietnamese

Ok, so I've started learning Vietnamese.  It ain't easy, but I suppose nothing worthwhile is.

I've hired a private tutor at the Indochine Vietnamese Language School for a beginner course that runs 100 hours.  Her  name is Miss Thuy ("twee" is a very rough approximation of how to pronounce her name -- the "th" sounds more like an aspirated "t" and the "-uy" sounds more like a short "oi" in English).  Thuy has glacial patience and a good sense of humor; both are necessary during our thrice weekly 1.5 hour sessions as I skewer her native tongue.

The first thing I noticed about Vietnamese is that the use of a modified Roman alphabet is deceptive.  Many of the letters have entirely different sounds in Vietnamese than they do in English.  So pronouncing words as you would read them using English pronunciation rules pretty much guarantees a blank stare from the person with whom you're trying to communicate (I know this from experience). 

The first phase of my language course focuses on learning the different sounds and tying them closely to the written language.  This ain't easy either, because there are sounds in Vietnamese that just don't exist in English.  Trying to pronounce them is like taking up a new sport and exercising muscles you never, ever use.  Just like learning a good golf swing, you gotta get your mouth, tongue and throat muscles used to contorting in ways that make them recoil in fear and confusion. 

Another big challenge is the Vietnamese tonal system.  There are six tones in Vietnamese, and they freaking matter.  For example, you can say the word "ma" using six different tones and it means six different things.  I'm sure you can already anticipate the many gaffes that tones, or rather misuse of tones, lead to as foreigners learn the language.  I can only hope that using the wrong tones doesn't turn the phrase "Excuse me, where may I find the restroom?" into "I have a fine selection of stolen merchandise in my van".  It's a comfort to know that already one of my friends has offered to pull a Chuck Norris in case I say the wrong thing and end up in a cage somewhere.

Those challenges aside, Vietnamese grammar is ridiculously easy.  I don't know much yet, but I do know that there is no verb conjugation (sweet!), no definite/indefinite articles, no plural and no possessives.  For example on the possessives -- you say "mother me" to indicate "my mother".  That applies to everything that might be yours.  Cake.  Another example is nationalities.  There is no word for "American" or "German" or "Chinese" -- they simply say "person America" (nguoi my) or "person China" to indicate nationality.

To get a sense for the sounds of the Vietnamese language, check out this site.  Give your mouth muscles a workout and try to pronounce some of the words.  (Note: You will need Shockwave in order to play the sounds.)

Till next time, tam biet!

Cambodia & The Temples of Siem Reap

I got back yesterday from a trip to Siem Reap, Cambodia to visit the famous temples of ancient Khmer civilization.  The UN has designated these temples as a World Heritage Site.  It's easy to see why.  They are nothing short of incredible.  Their scale, sophistication and artistry are off the charts. 

I'd like to write more but it's late right now and I'm lazy.  I'm going to cheat a little and post a link to Wikipedia's entry for the Angkor temples here.  You can view my as-yet untitled photos here.  Click on "View album as guest" on the left hand side, then click on "Slideshow" for the best viewing.  You can also check out the video below of one of the temples that has been overrun by the jungle.  It's over 900 years old.  Amazing.  (Make sure your sound is up so you can hear the eerie jungle sounds.)