charvey in Vietnam

Games in the Park

On weekends there are always groups of boyscouts, teenagers and 20-somethings getting together to play games and have fun in Tao Dan park near my house.  I happened upon these lively young people a few weeks ago.  Each of them had a balloon tied to one ankle.  The objective was to stomp other people's balloons while protecting your own.  Hilarity and pandemonium ensued at the whistle.  I stopped to watch for a moment and snap a pic.

Corruption

I stumbled across an English-language news story on vietnamnet.vn quoting people speaking openly about corruption by government officials in Vietnam.  Although it seems common knowledge that corruption at all levels is endemic among officials, I didn't expect it to be discussed so openly.

The powers that be pay lip service to fighting corruption, but the unfortunate reality is that palm-greasing and shakedowns are so entrenched up and down the bureaucracy that it is nearly impossible to remove.  I've concluded that any time you hear of a top-level guy getting strung up on corruption charges, yeah the charges are probably true but the real reason he's in trouble is he stepped on the wrong guy's toes.  So they decided to sacrifice him on the altar of an "anti-corruption drive" to keep up appearances and kill two birds with one stone.  Nice and neat, eh?

Here's an example from Newsvine - Vietnam about some local officials who got busted.  It sounds cynical, but I wouldn't be surprised if their real offense was not sharing the loot with the right guys above them.

Here's a post I wrote two years ago when I heard about a corruption-fighting grandma in Hanoi.

Personally I haven't encountered corruption in Vietnam, but then my contact with officialdom has been nearly nonexistent.  I couple Western guys I know who married Vietnamese complained bitterly about all the palms they had to grease to get marriage licenses, birth certificates etc.  Usually the official will raise maddening bureaucratic obstacles, but then generously offer to "expedite" your request for a "fee" or "gratuity."  If you don't pay, they'll drown you in red tape.  It's petty and really makes people angry.

It's not just the government that has a problem.  Kickbacks are also a way of life across sectors.  Our salespeople are sometimes asked for an under-the-table kickback -- oops, "gratuity" -- in exchange for steering their company to buy our services.  We've decided not to do that, ever.  If we signal it's ok to pay kickbacks to win business, then we have no moral standing to demand our people not take kickbacks to favor certain vendors.  You can't have it both ways.  Besides, our service is good enough that we're confident to win against any competition paying kickbacks.  

Here's the story, below.  You can read the original here.

“Good and honest officials are regarded as fools”

11:36' 28/09/2009 (GMT+7)

VietNamNet’s readers write in to the Administrative Reform Forum with more ideas on improving government.     From Russia, reader Hong Son sends a story about his close friend who returned to Vietnam to get married. An official “suggested” that a gratuity of seven million dong could ensure completion of all necessary formalities. It’s obvious, Son said, that only when people are taught self-respect at school that it will be possible to have public servants who refrain from asking for things to which they aren’t entitled.   Reader La Ken from Hai Phong said that if the entire administrative system were computerized, it will be more effective, saving money and time for the people and harassment would be diminished because the people wouldn’t have to directly meet with officials. “By automating procedures,” he wrote, “we can cut down the number of government employees by two-thirds. Wages for government employees will rise while the state doesn’t have to pay more,”   Ken speculated that simplifying formalities is simple in other countries but difficult in Vietnam because officials who hold the power in the government system don’t want to harm their own self- interest.   Many readers propose that public services be privatized. They also suggest a standardized  recruitment policy, tighter discipline and reduced government staffs.   Tran Thi Dung from HCM City maintains that the current number of government employees ought to be slashed in half. “In addition, we should reduce the number of divisions and departments within government agencies by two-thirds. Within each division and department, the number of staff should be reduced so that all officials are always busy. Naturally, administrative formalities will be reduced and they will be paid a satisfactory salary,” Dung wrote.   Pham Thi Van from Da Nang questioned: “If an official deliberately takes risks that cause losses to his organization, how would it be if – as in other countries -- his boss has to resign?”   Promotions go to those who are clever at ‘building relations’   VietNamNet’s readers have not only analysed the phenomenon of harassment but also have pointed out the danger of relying on officials who are not good in their jobs nor of high moral character, but instead are just clever at “footwork” and good at building “good relations” with their bosses. Some comment how odd it is that pure and honest officials are regarded by their colleagues as “eccentric fools” and referred to as “idiots.”   A reader at nv.thieu54@... complains: “It is painful how often rich officials return to their home villages openly boasting about their talent in building relations with their superiors. They are proud because the whole village and their relatives admire and honor them as talented people – or so they seem, since they are richer than many who have high diplomas.”   Hoang Nga from Hanoi expresses frank criticism: “Don’t excuse immorality as the consquence of  low salaries. Many people live purely and keep their self-respect. It is regrettable that such officials are rare today and they may be thought of as “stupid” by their colleagues.”   According to Hoang Nga, cases of officials abusing administrative formalities to benefit themselves has become an “epidemic.” The perpetrators are not ashamed when they harass the people.   Some students now studying overseas told VietNamNet that the current situation discourages them from returning home to work. Nguyen Huong in London said that she is studying with some Vietnamese officials. Whenever they talk to each other, they always mention that this position is lucrative or that position is good for earning money or it is very easy to create difficulties for people who need their help.   Huong added that although the monthly salary of these officials is two to three million dong, they spend luxuriously.   “Let’s bravely change our policy entirely, like Singapore did. Don’t set up a long ‘roadmap” that will take many years to execute” Huong urged.   The prayer of nearly every reader is that the government will strongly commit to the reform of ‘administrative procedures’ and take resolute action.  Le Nhung

Christmas Đến Sài Gòn

Christmas has come to Saigon once again.  This will be charvey's fourth Christmas in Saigon.  The first was five years ago during my first ever visit to Vietnam.  Christmas struck me then as totally, completely, utterly nutty.  Well, 2003 was nothing.  Over the ensuing five years it's gotten even nuttier.  This year is head and shoulders above last year -- the decorations are more elaborate, the crowds are more frenzied, there are more tiny children in Santa suits.  The Vietnamese love pageantry and parties.  They have embraced Christmas and made it their own in a special Vietnamese way.  I love it.

Last night I went out for a walk on the main drags of Saigon.  I took some pictures and an eight-minute video tour (narrated by charvey, of course).  Enjoy!

Here are the pics:

And here's the video:

Check out my other posts from Christmas past -- A Very Vietnam Christmas from 2006 and Part 1 and Part 2 from 2007.

On the Stool

A reporter friend of mine writes for a weekly addition to the Vietnam Investment Review called Timeout.  Timeout selects a different foreigner to profile each week, asking the same questions.  It's called "On the Stool."  My friend asked me to be profiled recently.  My agent negotiated a lower-than-usual fee since she's a friend of mine ;-).

[Click on the image below to see a larger version.]

VietnamWorks Chicken Dance

Every morning the VietnamWorks South sales team gathers for the "Chicken Dance".  It's a great and fun way to start the day -- everyone gets a kick out of it.  I like to show my solidarity with the sales team by dancing with them everyday, but the biggest reason I dance with them is that it's goofy and I just plain enjoy it.

Last week I shot a video of the dance.  It's pretty much like this every morning.  I love it.  One of my big objectives is to foster a working environment that is enjoyable and fun, where people can feel free to express their personalities.  Kudos to anh Trọng for having the idea and implementing it with the team.

At the end you can hear the dance leader ask "Các bạn khỏe không?" ["How is everyone?] and everyone shout in unison "Khỏe, rất khỏe, rất rất khỏe, oh yeah!!!" [Good, really good, really really good, oh yeah!!!] 

Traffic

Troi oi, traffic is getting nutty in Saigon.  Not only are there many more motorbikes clogging the streets, but it's the buses and cars that really make things crazy.  Streets here are rarely more than two lanes in both directions.  Usually the cars and buses stay in the left lane and motorbikes in the right lane.  Since motorbikes are small, motorbike traffic acts like a fluid -- it can easily flow around obstacles that crop up.  Problems arise when buses and cars move to the right lane for various reasons, like stopping at a bus stop ("nha cho xe buyt" or, literally, "house wait vehicle bus") or just plain pulling over and stopping in the right lane because the driver is an idiot.  I also enjoy the sight of cars mucking things up by pulling u-turns across several lanes of crowded traffic.

Yesterday I had a morning meeting across town from my house.  I hopped on a xe om (literally, "vehicle hug") which is a motorbike taxi.  I wasn't sure where the address was, and I assumed the xe om driver knew where he was going.  He took an inefficient route, but that's beside the point.  The point is that the traffic was simply horrendous!  Saigon streets are rapidly reaching the saturation point where they simply cannot handle more traffic during peak hours.  There is still a ways to go before the problem really affects business and growth since I expect people will begin commuting earlier or later in response to the congestion.  But nevertheless, it's remarkable.  I usually don't see rush hour traffic because I walk about 10 minutes to work each morning.  I did have a sense that traffic was getting worse, though, because I walk through one of the busiest intersections in the whole city, Nguyen Thi Minh Khai and Cach Mang Thang Tam.  I've been seeing the motorbike cops there more frequently directing traffic when they are not issuing tickets. 

Not only is the traffic bad, but the street-level pollution it causes is a bit unpleasant.  There are many old motorbikes, buses and trucks here that belch out toxic black clouds filled with particulate matter.  The buses are bad, but trucks are the worst.  Stuck behind one, I've often wondered if the engine designer listed "Emit noxious black fumes" as a top design objective because it's hard to imagine it being worse.  I've learned that motorbike transport and contact lenses are a poor combination.

All that being said, the street-level pollution dissipates quickly later in the evening after traffic dies down.  There doesn't seem to be the kind of industrial, pervasive pollution suffered by China.  Skies generally are blue and sunny, not the opaque haze that afflicts Shanghai or Beijing.

Rainy Season Ending

According to Mel over at "Antidote to Burnout" the wind has shifted direction, thus marking the beginning of the end of the rainy season.  It's still raining a lot though, every afternoon.  I don't mind, it's nice and cool.  Mel oi, when is it gonna stop?

Movin' On Up

When I arrived in Vietnam in May 2006, I was pleasantly surprised at the variety of goods in local supermarkets.  I could buy Washington State apples, batteries, my favorite cereals imported from the USA, Tide laundry detergent, shampoo, pots and pans, whatever, in a relatively modern environment without haggling.  The supermarket was small and cramped, and the aisles set haphazardly, but most things were there.  It was similar to the  supermarket where my mom would drag me as a kid in the '70s, although  a slightly smaller and more crowded version.

I was there again last weekend after a 3 or 4 month hiatus (I eat out a lot, plus I'm lazy).  Wow, the place is changing fast.  The store is bigger.  The aisles are taller and more orderly.  The meat section much bigger.  I even saw an elegant wine display rack that could have come from Whole Foods a swanky, high-end grocery chain in the USA.  And construction is still happening in one part of the store.  Disposable incomes are increasing rapidly in Vietnam and a lot of that extra spending is going straight to consumer goods.  Vietnam is a marketer's paradise -- totally virgin territory.  Rising incomes and the fact that choice and cool things to buy are a relatively recent phenomenon recent is fertile ground.  The sense of optimism and, yes, joy, is palpable as the country sheds 30 years of material privation.  It's exciting to see. 

Here is a pic taken from an escalator leading the second floor of the "Co-op Mart".

And here's a shot closer to ground level.  Note the promotional displays and Oral-B toothbrushes.  The woman in the conical hat in the foreground is a nice juxtaposition.  Turns your preconceptions of Vietnam on their ear, doesn't it?

Vietnam Beautification

With increasing speed, the run-down, shabby vestiges of a centrally planned economy are being torn down, repaved and painted over in Vietnam.  I returned from Hanoi today.  The metal chairs in the passenger lounge of the Hanoi airport used to look like they belonged in a Terry Gilliam movie -- all banged up and scratched like a 50 year old bit of retro junkyard kitsch.  But today I arrived to find that they had been painted over with a fresh coat of shiny grey paint.  Still kitschy, but they looked about a million times better.  "Damn," I thought, "I gotta start capturing this stuff on camera before it's gone."

Also, the new international terminal of Ton Son Nhat airport finally opened in Ho Chi Minh City (aka Saigon).  Now domestic flights have moved from the ridiculously cramped quarters of the old domestic terminal (the airport in my home town of Burlington, Vermont is bigger) to what used to be the international section.  When I returned to HCMC today I picked up my bag at the old international arrival baggage claim, then walked right out through the area that used to contain the X-ray machines and customs inpsectors.  Several feelings well up at once -- the excitement of my first visit to Vietnam nearly 4 years ago, stepping out to a nearly empty parking lot full of weeds, to a feeling that I'm smack in the middle of big and historic changes rolling across this country.  I haven't been inside the new terminal yet, but it looks pretty cool and modern from the outside. 

I've also noticed that the crazy, uneven patchwork of broken tile and asphalt is being torn up to and replaced with smart new sidewalk tile in many parts of town.  Ah, Saigon, we barely knew ye....  At least I can say that I was here before McDonald's showed up.  I heard that McDonald's and Starbucks are on the way soon.

Dog Wearing Pearls

Hi Public.  I'm back in Vietnam after a fantastic holiday in the USA.  Always good to stay connected with family and friends.

On Saturday I was walking in my neighborhood doing some errands.  I always enjoy walking around Saigon -- this city is a feast for the senses.  Lo and behold, walking through one alleyway I spied the prettiest little
dog you ever did see.  She was wearing a string of pearls and a most self-satisfied and happy expression.  She was a little frightened of her foreign suitor, however, and her owner helpfully called her over and steadied her while I snapped the pic.  Everyone had a good laugh.  Little moments like these are magic.

 

Grandma Battles Corruption

I found this story in the "Newsvine" feed on the right side of my blog.  It's hilarious.  Despite the humor, corruption is a real problem in Vietnam.  I haven't personally encountered it but I have heard stories.  It reminds me of the adage "Absolute power corrupts absolutely."  Human nature is the same everywhere.

Vietnamese Grandma Battles Corruption

Wed Jul 4, 2007 1:36 PM EDT

world-news, vietnam, anti, graft, granny, most-vietnamese

Vu Tien Hong, AP Writer

Most Vietnamese cower when a cop squeezes them for a bribe. Le Hien Duc, a gray-haired 75-year-old grandmother, fights back.

Four-foot-nine and weighing just 88 pounds, she'll take on anyone, from lowly bureaucrats to high-level officials. She e-mails, phones, tracks them down at their offices, confronts them at their homes.

"Corruption is definitely an evil, and it is ruining my beloved country," said Duc, a former elementary school teacher who works from dawn until dusk battling graft.

Corruption is perhaps the most vulnerable spot in the country's single-party Communist state — from the traffic cops who pull drivers over for $3 bribes to the Transportation Ministry officials accused last year of gambling $13 million in public money on British soccer matches.

Corruption persists here in part because officials earning $50 official salaries consider it perfectly acceptable to charge kickbacks for virtually any kind of service, large or small.

As a result, the country routinely fares poorly in international corruption rankings. But in Vietnam, where people respect authority, few dare challenge the system. But many turn to Duc.

"Most of us tremble when we have to deal with police," said Doan Van Hung, a delivery man who recently sought Duc's help. "She is incredibly brave."

Hung's ordeal was typical — a policeman stopped him for speeding and threatened to seize his motorbike unless he paid a $3 bribe — more than a day's average wage.

Corruption among "road bullies," as the Vietnamese traffic police are known, is rampant. But most drivers simply pay up and leave.

Duc tracked down the officer who harassed Hung and filed a complaint with the Hanoi chief of police. The officer was promptly demoted.

The grandmother of eight intervened in another recent case involving school officials who had apparently been pocketing school lunch money for years by making cafeteria staff cut back on the kids' portions.

Local government investigators confirmed the scam. But when the evidence was brought before Hanoi education officials, they did nothing.

Frustrated parents had read about Duc in the newspapers and turned to her for help. She took the case straight to the top.

She said she called the office of the education minister, Nguyen Thien Nhan, about 30 times.

When her messages went unanswered, Duc managed to discover the minister's cell phone number and called him. He promised to have the department's internal investigator look into the case.

"She always knows whom to call," said Nguyen Tan Tien, chairman of the school parents' association.

In Vietnam, most grandmothers stay home and look after their grandchildren. Duc buries herself in the fight against graft.

"Someone must stop it, for the sake of justice," she said.

Duc has spent a lot of time investigating where government and party leaders live and work. If they won't meet her at their offices, she just shows up at their homes.

"Whenever we see her, we know there is a problem somewhere," said Pham Van Tai, an Education Ministry official. "She has pushed us a little too hard."

Duc runs her crusade from her narrow, three-story home in Hanoi, where her desk is covered with stacks of mail from people seeking help from all corners of Vietnam. She spends about two-thirds of her $80 monthly pension on the Internet, phone calls, photocopying and motorbike taxis.

Her work has made enemies.

Last month, people came to her house and told her to butt out of the school lunch money scam.

"Drop the case or start saving money for your coffin," they shouted.

Her children wish she would give up her work.

"She is too old and weak to protect herself," said Pham Minh Hai, Duc's daughter. "She should stay home and play with the kids."

But Duc has no intention of quitting. She says she is following the example of Ho Chi Minh, the revolutionary hero of Vietnam's government.

Like many others of her generation, Duc joined the revolution as a young woman. During Vietnam's war against French colonialists, she spent years in the jungle, decoding messages for the army.

"We gave our blood, sweat and tears," she said. "There is no excuse for anyone to abuse their authority. I cannot stand seeing corrupt officials bully people."

Birthday

It was an excellent birthday.  It was good to spend it with old friends and new ones.  Pictured here are charvey and my old friends Rick and Katie.  Given that this was bday number 37, I opted for a more suave, sophisticated look.

One Year

Tôi ơ Việt Nam một nam roì.  Chính xác mọt nam và nam ngày roì.  Bay giờ tôi nói tiếng việt giỏi hơn một nam trước.  Tôi nói chuyện bang tiếng việt với nhiêù ngươì việt mỡi ngày.  Tối rát thích học tiếng việt -- vui!

Whoa peeps, it's been one year already.  My year anniversary actually was last week, which I spent vainly hunting for galoshes throughout Saigon.  Yes, as Mel's meteorological spidey sense detected, shifting wind direction indicates that the real rainy season has arrived.  That means nearly every afternoon it rains cats and dogs.  "Raining cats and dogs" is an expression the Vietnamese find hysterical.  I was at a loss to explain its etymology.  I couldn't find an authoritative explanation on the internet even though I searched for more than 2 minutes, an eternity in Google time.  I mentioned the expression to some of the office security guys in Vietnamese, but they just blinked at me with polite smiles.  Probably thought I was crazy.

I remembered wearing galoshes as a kid so I ordered some in the States.  My mum is shipping them over, bless her heart.  Now maybe I can clean up that nasty case of trenchfoot.

Charmers

Tonight I was taking a xe om (motorbike taxi) to meet my friend for dinner.  I like to take xe oms instead of driving myself because I can look around and check out all the action.  People watching in Vietnam is always excellent since so much life in Saigon happens on the street.  It's also better than a taxi because I have a 360 degree view.

I was at a stoplight when I hear a friendly "hello!" about 50 cm to my right.  I look over and perched comfortably on a motorbike is a young family -- dad, mom and a little girl not a day over 3 years old.  The dad said "hello" again and smiled.  The girl looked at the foreigner shyly, somewhat intrigued but unsure what to do.  "Chào cháu!" ("Hello, youngster!") I said, but still she just looked at me and blinked.  We all had a good laugh.  I think I was part of an impromptu English lesson.  That actually happens a lot.

There are so many charmers here in Vietnam.  Especially the kids.

In other news, it looks like Vietnam Idol has hit the scene.  You thought I was kidding in my post last month, eh?  Well check it out in all its glory here.   There is no doubt the show will be a huge hit in this karaoke-crazed land.

There will come soft rains...

Nam nay, mua mua den som.  Ok, I'm lazy and didn't use the special Vietnamese script software I've got on my computer.  But it reads "This year, rainy season comes early."

It's getting hotter and more humid.  Although it doesn't rain every day (yet), it has rained cats and dogs a couple times already.  Marking the passing seasons of rainy/hot, dry/cooler is not quite the same as the east coast USA rituals of Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter but it'll do.  I do kinda miss springtime in the eastern USA though -- the smell of newness and fresh, wet earth, sound of birds singing, being able to go outside without a coat -- it's like being let out of prison.  There's no feeling like it.

Vầng Trăng Khóc (The Moon Cries)

The Vietnamese are a sentimental people.  This is especially apparent in popular music.  Romantic themes in music skew heavily to unrequited love, love lost, or two lovers separated by circumstances beyond their control. 

I learned several Frenchie songs in a college French class and I still remember them.  Music is a powerful way to learn.  "What a golden opportunity," I thought, "I'll learn some Vietnamese classics.  Not only will I learn some new words, but it'll come in handy during the obligatory karaoke sessions with the staff."

Choosing a song dripping with the "love lost" themes above was easy.  I just picked one at random.  It is "Vầng Trăng Khóc" (The Moon Cries).  I plugged the lyrics into an English/Vietnamese machine translator at vdict.com to get the general meaning of the song.  It's sung as a duet by two people who once were lovers.  For a reason I'm unable to determine (the song may not say) they are separated and their love has faded.  They sing achingly for the love they once shared and for what might have been.  Click to listen.

One line in the song I've seen elsewhere is "Em và anh mỗi người một nơi."  Translated literally, it is "Me and you, each person one place."  More figuratively, I translate it as "Everyone has their place, including us."  The idea is that time and circumstances have separated the lovers, but they must accept it because everyone has their own destiny.  It's kinda poetic.

The machine translation yielded some especially excellent lines.  One is "There Will by you love you forsooth giblets."  No idea about that one.  Two others are "Stoutly when new hornbeam retrevial," and "Because aching suffer prestissimo the two of us asteroid separates."  I am not making this up.

I'm listening to this song over and over while reading the lyrics so I can carry the tune and nail the pronunciation.  On Monday I'll review the lyrics with my Vietnamese teacher so I understand the meaning of each line.  Look for me on Vietnam Idol.

Special Feelings from a Man's Heart

Hello, My Public.  I know it's been a while since I rapped at ya, but the waters ain't exactly been calm on Lake Charvey.  Lol, actually things have been going great.  Saigon is more fun than a barrel of monkeys, and work is good.  It looks like VietnamWorks.com is about to cross the 3000 jobs threshold, a historic occasion.  Business is booming.

Vietnam is abuzz because tomorrow, March 8, is "International Women's Day," also known as IWD.  This is a global holiday.  Who knew?  I was intrigued so I Googled it and, lo and behold, found the internationalwomensday.com website.  It's been happening nearly 100 years, since 1910.

The Vietnamese take all their Women's Days very seriously.  So seriously, in fact, that there are two a year -- the IWD and an even more special Vietnam Women's Day.  Already a few women in the office have dropped not-so-subtle hints that they expect something special from the boss tomorrow.  I plan to oblige, and am having enough flowers delivered tomorrow morning so everyone gets one.  Our office is about 70% women, so paying homage is not only a nice thing to do but it's also an exercise in self preservation.

I even composed a special speech for our job seeker newsletter to mark the occasion.  In a burst of sentimentality, I titled it "Special Feelings from a Man's Heart."   

To wit, "On behalf of men, I would like to thank this special day of the year for its giving us the chance to express our deep gratitude, respect and admiration to half of our world - the gentle women who are so charming, confident and successful - with all words and actions that have been brought up and kept in our sincere hearts - the ones of the happy men!"

Happy International Women's Day!

Tết, Tết Đến Ròi! (Tết is here!)

Tết, the Lunar New Year, is upon us.  There is a palpable sense of excitement wafting through the air -- even though this is a new holiday for me, I can't but help getting excited myself.  The streets are filled with Tết vendors selling flowers, Tết trees, booze and foodstuffs.  From what I can gather, Tết is like Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years rolled into one holiday.  It's just massive.  Check out some great Tết photos and commentary on Jon's blog, "It's the Final Word."  Yeah, I'm cheating a little but he's a better writer than I am.  Enjoy.

By the way, "Tết" is pronounced like "d/t" + "eh" + "t" sounds.  "T" in Vietnamese is pronounced halfway between  the "t" and "d" sounds in English.  The "ê" is the "eh" sound.  The other funny mark above the "e" indicates the upward tone of the word, kind of like the upward tone we use in English to signify a question.  I'm starting to get the hang of this Vietnamese stuff, but people still find my speech unintelligible sometimes.  I get the blank look accompanied by "Tôi không hieủ.  Lâm nói gì?" (I don't understand.  Say what?).

Sunday Morning in Saigon

The air in Saigon this morning was fresh, clean and cool (mid 70s).  Gotta take advantage of days like this so I grabbed my camera and hopped on my bike to snap some pics.

There are mobile bicycle vendors galore on Dien Bien Phu Street in District 3.  I bought some grapes from this friendly woman and she let me snap her pic.  There were also bike vendors selling onions, flowers, motorbike rear-view mirrors, handbags, books, etc. 

I've never seen a "fish-in-a-bag" vendor before so I had to get a pic of this one.  Although I didn't buy a fish, the proprietor let me take a pic anyway.  She doesn't look happy though.  Maybe she's thinking "What am I gonna do with all these freaking fish?"  I doubt they can last long in those little bags.

Another of the ubiquitous construction sites and signs around Saigon.  This one is a pretty huge site at the former location of Saigon Square, which until recently boasted the best selection of pirated DVDs in Saigon as well as various other sundries and shops.  This development is being led by a Korean group.  The Koreans are everywhere in Saigon.

Another construction site, somewhere in District 3.  Serviced apartments are going up like mad.  One long time expat friend is convinced there will be a glut of empty inventory on the market in a year or two.  My sense is that it all depends on the demand side of the equation.  Time will tell.

Ok, so I didn't take this pic today but had to include it.  Until recently, I've caught only fleeting glimpses of this dinner boat plying the Saigon waterways.  When we had a company party on another boat a few weeks ago I was able to get up close to admire the sheer artistry of this massive, floating neon piranha.  Our boat was nowhere near as cool.  Vegas, move over.

Mr. Stewart Comes to Vietnam

Living in Vietnam not only provides the opportunity to learn about Vietnamese culture, but also to share a bit about American culture.  The Vietnamese are eager to learn about all things foreign, particularly what life is like in other countries.

Just before Christmas I was missing the annual American tradition of watching the 1946 holiday classic "It's a Wonderful Life"  starring film legends Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed.  Not only is it a great film, but it holds particular sentiment for me.  I remember the first time I saw it in December 1988 like it was yesterday.  I was a first year college student at UVA.  A student film club has a tradition of showing the film every year just before exams begin.  I saw it with some of my buddies from my dormitory.  The club president introduced the film with an outstanding Jimmy Stewart impression. 

Watching this film touched me deeply.  As I waxed poetic about the meaning and spirit of the film walking back to the dorm, my buddies began humming "The Battle Hymn of the Republic."  They were having a bit of fun with me, but the tune happened to be perfect accompaniment.  At exactly the same time, it began to snow (snowing is used as a metaphor in the film).  The warm feelings, the holiday season, the camaraderie made it one of those perfect moments you remember forever. 

It simply wouldn't do to watch this classic by myself, so I decided to share a Christmas tradition and showed it at the office with a computer projector.  While turnout was light at only about 6 people, I noticed more than a few watery eyes by the end of the film.  Several people asked me for copies of the film, wanting to share it with their families and friends.  Given that the Vietnamese are crazy about all things Christmas, perhaps the "It's a Wonderful Life" tradition will take root here as well.   

A Very Vietnam Christmas

Many of you will be surprised to learn that Christmas in Vietnam is *huge*.  And I don't mean the Vietnamese kinda sorta like it.  They freaking LOVE Christmas.  The Vietnamese have taken to Christmas like Packers fans to brats, cheese and tailgating.

Last night I went to a Christmas Eve service at a Catholic Chuch in Saigon with some Vietnamese friends.  It was a lot like services in the States, except with a uniquely Vietnamese twist.  All the familiar songs were there -- "Silent Night, Holy Night" etc -- but with Vietnamese lyrics.  There were lots of colorful lights and many images of Santa and reindeer in the accompanying slide show presented to the left of the stage.  It was quite well done, and felt suitably "Christmas-y."

One of the many choruses that performed.  All were quite good.

Close-up of the earnest young performers.

Lyrics were projected helpfully on the wall to the left of the performers.

Live action.

These girls filed in solemnly, struggling to keep their candles from going out under the powerful fans cooling the room.

The kids performed a smashing rendition of a biblical scene.  Budding actors, all.

I'm not sure what this couple sang, but it made me feel all warm and Christmas-y inside.

After the service, my friends took me on a crazy tour of the Christmas lights, animatronic Santas and Baby Jesus scenes in a few neighborhoods in the city.  Here I am with one of my friends, Cuong.  One incredibly surreal scene was a girl cozying up to an 8 foot tall animatronic Santa.  She was standing on a step ladder, rubbing Santa's belly and beaming from ear to ear having her picture taken.  Wish I had a shot of that.

Check out some of Jon's great pics of outdoor Christmas decorations in Saigon here.

You're Fired! Part II

Wow, what an enthusiastic response!  The show is pretty fun.  It is very Apprentice-like, with two teams that compete during each show, team leaders, interesting projects, the works. 

Last night the teams set up outside a supermarket.  They were given the same bottles of un-labeled soy sauce and told to think of a brand and a promotion for the sauce, much like a consumer products company would do for a new product launch.  Each team was given 500,000 dong (about $30) and told to create a promotional space with two tables, facing each other across a small plaza in front of the supermarket.  They sprang into action.  In typical Vietnamese style, in no time they both secured sound systems so they could blast music (ABBA's greatest hits, endlessly repeated, was the choice of the day) and their message.  It seems there are speaker rental shops on every block in every city in Vietnam.  The Vietnamese love everything at top volume, all the time.

Each team also had the idea to prepare a dish that uses liberal quantities of soy sauce.  They quickly secured plates, disposable chopsticks, serving dishes and the accompanying groceries.  A few people on each team feverishly decorated their displays with signs, balloons, flowers, etc.  One team found a few candelabras that lent a homey yet festive air to their display as dusk settled over a cool Hanoi evening.

Once each team prepared their dish they were ready to assault the shoppers entering and leaving the store.   Both teams had audio-enhanced barkers shouting out the joys of their brand of soy sauce.  (In actuality, both teams were given the same brand in unmarked bottles.)  ABBA blasted.  Each team sent out runners to pull people in.  Flocks of people descended upon both teams. 

One dish was "bun," or light noodles served with some leafy garnish and garlic minced into the soy sauce.  It was served cold.  The other was stir-fried beef with some kind of tasty Vietnamese vegetable.  Charvey tried both and found each delicious.  But then, a hungry stomach is easy to please.

At the end of the evening there was a clear winner.  Although customers liked both dishes, they recalled the name of one "brand" of soy sauce much more frequently than the other.  They also said they were more likely to try that brand.  The winning team had come up with a short and catchy name for its sauce and religiously stayed on message throughout the evening.  The other team employed some teenage crooners who sang sad love songs and attracted a giggling teenage crowd of the singer's friends.  Teenagers milling around a promotional booth for soy sauce aimed at mothers was not good.  One member from that team knew a famous actress and convinced her to come.  It would have been cool if she had cooked a bit and helped them promote, but she just showed up, chomped a few bites and left.  That didn't help them.

At the end of the evening, we judges adjorned to officially decide on the losing team and select two people to cut from that team.  It wasn't fun, because all the candidates promoted their hearts out and I didn't want to cut anybody.  We finally settled on the team leader and the woman who had pushed the poor promotional ideas.  It was tough, but that's show biz.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to work in "You're fired!" in a smooth way.  I did speak some Vietnamese on camera when we interviewed four customers to ask their opinions on the soy sauce.  It would be cool if that makes it through the editing.

I learned today that we have committed to hire one of the winners.  Funny how the woman on the marketing team who is point on this project never told me that before.  No worries tho -- I would hire any of those women.  Go-getters and great attitudes, all.

The name of the show is "Uoc Mo cua Toi," or "My Dream."  I'm sure I can figure out a way to get it on YouTube when it begins airing on January 9.

You're Fired!

I've got a new gig.  No, it's not running a modeling agency (although I heard of a guy who founded one in Shanghai to meet girls but wound up with a hugely successful modeling agency).  It's as a judge on a "Apprentice"-like reality TV show in Vietnam.  I'm representing VietnamWorks.

I'm tapping out this entry from a hotel in Hanoi where the show is being filmed.  Today we followed the candidates around as they tried to sell postcards to passers-by on the street.  Just like The Apprentice, it included lots of personal drama.  Some candidates are rivals, some are bossy, some are more passive.  No Omarosa though, which kinda disappointed me. 

All the candidates are young women from 22 - 28, to increase the show's appeal to the sponsor's  demographic.  I can tell you, the future of Vietnam is assured in the hands of these young people.  They are kickass go-getters, smart as a whip and totally eager to learn and compete.   One candidate was so wound up, she fainted tonight when we announced her team won the competition.  Oi, the drama!

It warms my capitalist heart to see these young people honing their business instincts and strutting their moxie.  I have no doubt they all will go on to do great things.

And for those of you wondering -- I'm gonna try to sneak in a "You're fired!" on the show even though that's not part of the program.

Personal Space

One huge difference between Western and Vietnamese cultures is the perception and treatment of personal space.  In the West, it seems everyone has a "personal space bubble (PSB)" around them at all times.  Westerners monitor their PSBs closely.  They are acutely aware of who is in their PSB or who may be moving into their PSB.  Usually on the street, two strangers will move around each other in such a way so as their PSBs never touch each other.  When stepping onto the street or merging in traffic, Westerners generally check to see if their action will interfere with someone else's PSB.  If so, the person already on the street or on the highway is given right-of-way so that the PSBs do not touch.  We execute this action automatically and without thought.

There are no PSBs in Vietnam.  None.  Zero.  Bupkus.

No one maneuvers carefully out of the way, except to avoid a collision on the sidewalk or on the street.  When I'm walking on the sidewalk it's a common occurance for a guy to zip up and park his motorbike right in front of me with zero disregard for my PSB.  He didn't even see me.  If he had, he wouldn't have cared.

People merge into traffic from side streets all the time without looking.  They brake, weave and rubberneck with little if any regard for the effect their behavior has on traffic around them. 

The other week I was in speaking with a cluster of people in an impromptu meeting with a partner company.  One young staffer quite literally elbowed me out of the way so she could walk past.  I met eyes with another Westerner and we shared a chuckle.

Westerners generally are more aware of their surroundings and the effect their motions or actions have on others.  The way Vietnamese sometimes behave in crowds is considered quite rude in the West.  This is the reason that such behavior really grates on some Western expats I know.  They just hate it, and react to it by painting the Vietnamese with a broad brush of "They are all rude and inconsiderate."   I know what they mean when they say it grates on them.  There are times when it grates on me too. 

But I'm adapting.  I only get upset now at the most foolhardy or stupid cutoffs I get on the road.  Others, I let slide by.  It's not rude by local standards, and I subscribe to the "When in Rome..." philosophy.  Besides, now I do my fair share of cutting others off in the perpetual game of chicken that is driving in Vietnam.  I've also learned that, when crossing the street, do not let oncoming traffic see you looking at them.  If they see you look, they will expect you to yield to them.  If you don't look (or look out of your peripheral vision like I do), you put all the responsibility on them for a collision.  It sounds crazy, but it works.

The best explanation I can think of regarding why the Vietnamese are like this is that there are a whole lot of people in Vietnam.  That, and a culture that includes frequent touching within families and between friends.  People simply don't have the same feelings about personal space that Westerners do.  There's no sense in getting worked up about it.  That's just the way it is here, and it's not rude by local standards.  It's a good litmus test -- Westerners who have a difficult time adjusting to it will have a hard time to adjusting to lots of other things here in Vietnam.

Saigon Softball

There is an amateur softball "league" in Saigon that started up today after a rainy season hiatus.  I traveled out to the end of the Earth in An Phu (District 2, about 10 miles from my house) to play.  Phil , the athletic director from Saigon County Club, hosted. 

We attracted some attention from some onlookers curious about what the foreigners were doing hitting balls with sticks and running around like madmen.  I wanted to get a pic of the action with an onlooker with a conical hat on, but wasn't fast enough with the camera.  There goes the Pulitzer.

Most participants were Canadian or American, with a few Aussies thrown in for good measure.  Rhonda, the organizer and globe-trotting Canadian expat, had an intimidating T-shirt that said "Middle East Softball Championship."  The level of play was surprisingly high for people who haven't played softball for many months -- the final score was 22 to 16 after about 5 innings with several dramatic hits, plays and catches. In traditional softball style, we capped off the workout with pitchers of cold beer.    It was excellent.

To my Saigon readers: Come on out and play!  We'll be there every Sunday at 3pm barring the country club's need to use the field.  Shoot me an email if you're interested and I'll make sure you get on the mailing list.

By the way, I found out about this from a website with an outstanding summary of business and social events in the expat community.  It's called "Upcoming Events, Eh?" by a guy named Graham Potter.  Check it out.

Good, Good

The other day I was getting another shoe shine and joking with the shoe shine guys.  Then a cop pulls up on his motorbike, gets off and checks me out.  I'm kinda wondering what is going on here.  Cops here look a bit severe because they dress like soldiers, not cops.  Is he gonna shake down the shoe shine guys?  Is he gonna ask me for ID? 

He says "Where are you from?"  I reply "Toi la nguoi My" (I am American).  Big smile breaks out -- I guess I won't be arrested after all.  "Good, good!" he says with a friendly pat on my shoulder.  "Good." 

Good indeed.

Cast of Characters

My life in Vietnam is rendered in brilliant Technicolor by a host of card-carrying characters that populate it.  Here are some of them.

Hung, the motorbike parking kid
I see "em Hung" (literally, "younger brother Hung") every morning when I park my motorbike in the lot next to the Thai Van Lung Street movie theater.  He's about 17 years old.  He just thinks it's hilarious that a foreigner parks there and always tries out a few words of English on me.  One time he saw me talking with one of the girls in the office who parks there and teased me about having a girlfriend.  It's always a good idea to make friends with the giữ xe guy.  He's a good kid.

Chị Kim, my cleaning lady
Chị Kim (literally, "big sister Kim," about 55 years old) is another character.  She speaks slightly more English than I do Vietnamese, so we usually communicate in a mishmash of the two languages.  She scolds me for being messy and feels free to give me plenty of unsolicited but concerned advice whenever she sees me.  She really gave me a hard time when I came back from my trip to the USA because I didn't bring her anything.  So I made sure to bring her a trinket from Bali this time.  I'm finally cluing in that it's quite impolite to travel somewhere and not bring back small gifts for people.  In the US it's not expected but of course people like it when you do.  In VN they expect, oh yes.

Em Hue and em Dan (Dang?)
These are the "Little Neighbors" I wrote about in a previous post.   They live in my little "hem," or alley.  Hue is about 12 years old and her little brother is an early 3 I think.  When I have my outer door open they sometimes come right up to the door and peer in to say hi.  I think they think I'm funny looking, which I guess I am.  Sometimes little Dang rides around in his tiny electric car, the kind I coveted when I was his age.  I gotta get a pic of that because it's quite funny.

Cô Vân, the cigarette lady
Cô Vân (literally, "aunt Vân," pronounced "vuhn") is about 60 and also lives in the hem.  She has a cigarette cart that is always parked at the entrance to the hem on the street.  She's like a watchdog -- no one gets past cô Vân without her given you the once-over.  I introduced myself about a month ago (as Lâm, of course), now we always exchange the friendly nod when I enter or exit.

The shoe shine guys
These guys just joined the cast today.  I went looking for a shoe shine around lunchtime and found a guy with 3 of his friends hanging out.  While one did the work his friend sat on his butt and joked that they split everything 50/50.  We spoke mostly in Vietnamese, with me saying quite often "Tôi không hiểu.  Xin nói lại chầm chậm" which means "I don't understand.  Please say again slowly."  Their constant joking and guffawing reminded me of the guys in that movie "Barbershop."  They want me to join them for a beer sometime.  That'll make an interesting post.

Hilda, the Colombian dance partner
I'm taking a Lindy Hop swing class every Monday night.  We rotate partners quite frequently.  Some women are really good, some are just hopeless.  My favorite partner is Hilda, a tiny Colombian woman in her 50s.  She's a great dancer.  She follows very well and is so fluid she makes me look good even when I screw up.  After class tonight I stayed for a bit and cut the rug with Hilda.  She's got this little sashay that screams "South American hipster."  I love it.

Figuring out how to type the Vietnamese characters above is making this post take forever.  Almost midnight now so going to bed.  More characters to come.

Text at your own peril

I recently registered on my mobile phone carrier's web site so I can check details of my account.  During the signup process I had to acknowledge these terms of service.  Sounds rather ominous.  I'll let it speak for itself.

MobiFones privacy policy 

MobiFone does not monitor the private contents of SMs, Emails or Chatting that you send and receive via our services system. Therefore, you must comply all regulations of the State for the Internet services use, and you are legally responsible for the contents of your SMs, Emails or Chatting. Furthermore, you are not allowed to use our services to disturb or harass others.

On MobiFone website, users must not send such contents that violate:

- Vietnams habits and customs

- Business law

- National public, political, military security

- The law of the Socialist Republic of Vietnam (directly or indirectly)

MobiFone will unsubscribe any user that break any of the above regulations. At the same time, this user is legally punished in according to the level of his violation.

Say You, Say Me

As everyone knows, David Hasselhoff is loved in Germany.  But the object of Vietnam's affection?  Megastar Lionel Richie.  Not an evening goes by where I do not hear Lionel's smash hit "Hello" on the local soundtrack or wafting out onto the street from some karaoke bar.  Vietnamese love him.  Oh yeah, and the Carpenters too.  The Vietnamese love this stuff -- the sappier and schmaltzier the better.  I gotta admit I've got a soft spot for it too.  The other night I did a rendition of "Yesterday Once More" that brought the house down at a swanky karaoke bar.  Not quite ready to tackle "Hello" just yet -- crowd might get ugly if I mess it up.

Blog Summit

Tonight I got together for a bite with a couple local celebrities: Mel, the author of "Antidote to Burnout" and Jon, author of "It's the Final Word."  We were mobbed by dozens of screaming women.  A few of them managed to break through our escort and I felt obligated to sign a few autographs.  After all, My Public is My Public.

Between bites of caviar and sips of cognac, we traded tax shelter and publicist tips.  Good guys.  Read their blogs.  If you're too busy, I'm pretty sure the Cliff Notes are available.

Home Security

When I returned to Vietnam I discovered that someone had tried to break into my place.  Although I used sturdy padlocks, they pried apart the door rings secured by each padlock on both the inner and outer doors.  I figure it was two guys and a crowbar.

Like most Vietnamese houses, I have an outer metal security door that folds like an accordion and a regular inner door on hinges.  Both doors were locked with padlocks and an integrated door lock.  Fortunately, the would-be thieves were stopped by the inner integrated door lock.  Perhaps they were spooked and ran off before they were able to penetrate it, or maybe they just couldn't figure out how to break it using their crude crow bar method.  In any event, my neighbors noticed that the outer door was ajar and locked it up again with a bicycle chain.  I was very lucky since I've heard that thieves will clear out *everything* from your house.  That would suck.

My landlord, anh Lich, was extremely concerned and responsive.  I showed him the damage and asked that he have some workers weld stronger rings in place.  Today he came by with a couple metal workers and they welded on new rings.  They also put a set pretty high up and out of reach of most Vietnamese.  Although these new rings are stronger, I doubt they would stop determined thieves who had a chunk of time. 

I've been advised by locals and expats always to have a house sitter whenever I leave town, even if it's just for a night.  That's a swell idea.  I'm also leaving the outer light on at night and may get a motion detector alarm.  Another idea is to post a warning on the door that the place has an alarm.  Even if I don't install one, it at least gives the thieves pause before doing their dirty business.

When I thanked anh Lich he smiled and responded "Of course -- it's my duty!"  He's great.

Little Neighbors 2

So the other day I bumped into Hoa and her little brother again while I was leaving my place in the morning.  I ran back inside and pulled out a big superball.  I bounced it a few times to demonstrate its super bouncing qualities, then handed it to Hoa.  She smiled and in turn gave it to her little brother.  He looked rather nonplussed, so I'm not sure he grasped the true nature of this small miracle of modern chemistry in his hands.  I'm sure he and his big sister have discovered its amazing properties by now. 

Ah, the warm nostalgic haze of childhood superball memories.  Someone should write a book, or at least a piece for the front section of the New Yorker.   I always managed to lose a new ball within an hour, though.  I would throw it at the ground as hard as I could in search of a new bouncing record, and it would rocket off and disappear into the superball ether.

(AJ - I had only one big superball so I did not give them two.  The others I have are quite small and I feared the boy would put it in his mouth and possibly choke on it.)

Little Neighbors

I had another of those wonderful little Vietnam moments this morning.  I was locking up my place when I felt the weight of a stare of my back.  I turned around to see two of my little neigbors, a boy of about 3 and his protective older sister of about 7 standing about 8 feet away and staring with blank expressions.  "Ah, they're looking at the weird foreigner with the big head stuffed into an even bigger helmet," I realized.  I said "hello" and they replied "hello" shyly.  I turned back to finish locking but still felt the stare.  Then I turned around again.  They hadn't moved a muscle.  I said "Tôi tên là Lâm.  Em tên gì?"  Ah, there's the big smile -- "Em tên là Hoa."  Then they ran off.  Next time I see those kids I'm giving them one of my superballs.

Invisible Women of Saigon

When I first arrived in Saigon I was struck by bizarre sight of strange apparitions riding half the motorbikes streaming through the city streets.  These figures were covered from head to toe -- gloves, socks under sandals, scarves over the face, sunglasses and floppy hats.  "Holy cow, invisible women have swarmed into Saigon!"

[Invisible Man, at right.  The resemblance is uncanny.]

Vietnamese women prize pale skin.  They go to great lengths to protect themselves from the sun's rays.  One friend of mine told me that a saleswoman in his office refused to come back from an office visit one afternoon. "Why?" he asked her.  "The sun is too shiny!" she replied.
 
At night the gloves come off, so to speak.  Out come the minis and revealing dresses, but only for girls who live a fast lifestyle.  Most Vietnamese women are quite modest and conservative. 

Oddly, pale skin is prized for women, but not for men.  I'm not sure, but It doesn't seem to matter much what shade a man's skin.  Any Vietnamese members of My Public care to, ahem, shed some light on the subject?

New Sofa

So I'm starting to trick out my crib.  I just added a new sofa and lamp.  Funny enough, the sofa is pretty much the same one I wanted to buy when I was in San Francsico.  I don't know what the fabric is.  It's kinda soft and velvety, but not velvet.  Slowly but surely I'll replace my, ahem, rustic rattan furniture with cooler stuff.  I'm thinking a red lava lamp would be a nice addition.  A hip cat's gotta live.

BTW, the red thingie on the coffee table contains raisins from California.  The local supermarket carries them, along with USA peanut butter (both chunky style *and* smooth!) and Washington state delicious apples.  All the comforts of home, but in Vietnam.  As the locals say, "Same same, but different."

I'm sitting now at a cafe in Pham Ngu Lau, an area otherwise known as the "Backpacker's Ghetto" in Saigon.  Lots of foreigner backpackers and younger travelers stay here.  The whole area feels like a party zone, all the time (Hank, you would love it).  Local Vietnamese run businesses that cater to the foreigners.  Some foreigners are the weird dread-locked and smelly kind, but most are normal youngsters traipsing through Southeast Asia.  Locals are carrying these enormous stacks of books for sale.  They're great salesmen.  My no-buy resolve was weakened and finally breached by one persistent seller when I saw "Catch-22" in her book stack (sorry Tilo, there was only 1 copy).  It's my favorite book of all time.  I haven't read it since college.  Oddly, the first time I read it I was also an expat, in France.  "Catch-22" is a ripping satire of society and human nature.  One character's name, General Scheisskopf, says it all.

Oh by the way, I had kangaroo meatballs for dinner last night at a pub run by an Aussie bloke.  Kanga is quite tasty!

Sorry, sorry!

Had an interesting experience on the way home tonight.  I was first at a light and gunned my bike into the intersection when the light turned green.  Two guys coming in the opposite direction were making left turns in front of me.  They misjudged my rocket-like acceleration and cut in front of me, which nearly resulted in a bruising collision.  I swiveled around them.  Both smiled and shouted, "Sorry, sorry!" at the foreigner with the big head in the big helmet.  It was almost like I had caught their hands in the cookie jar and they knew they were busted.

I love moments like these. 

"Oh....I love the nightlife"

"...I got to boogie in the disco' round oh yeah!"

I dunno why, but that song just popped in my head as I took a 20 minute stroll around my house tonight.  Evenings in Vietnam are just like days in Vietnam -- all the action happens out on the street.  People are cooking, washing dishes, children playing, motorbike drivers chilling (sometimes sleeping) on their bikes, teenagers acting like teenagers, people eating at "instant cafes" composed of a cart and portable charcoal fire pot.  I even saw one woman carrying a portable fire on a pole slung on her shoulder.  That was pretty cool, gotta snap a pic of that.

There is so much life on the streets here.  It's amazing.

Public Service Messages

I see government posters everywhere in Saigon.  Many of them trumpet out government messages about the Party as benevolent protector of the people and vanguard of progress.  But others deliver warm and fuzzy messages about the importance of family and children.  It took me a little while to get used to these -- they're just so, well, odd.

This one is a few blocks from my house.  It's fairly typical, featuring "Bac Ho" (Uncle Ho) and messages about the Party.  Bac Ho is the Vietnamese equivalent of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Ben Frankin and all the other American Founding Fathers rolled into one.  He is absolutely revered here.

Interesting to note that the right billboard features a message for APEC (the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation) group.  Vietnam is hosting the annual APEC heads of state meeting in Hanoi this fall.  George Bush will be in attendence.  Given the amount of official billboard messaging devoted to APEC, the Vietnamese are very proud of their role as host.

Not sure what this one is about exactly, but the imagery makes it clear that Bac Ho and the Party are watching over and guiding industrial progress and stability in Vietnam.

Lots of themes here: peace, children, education, the government.  I tried translating this.  Literally, the words mean "discipline patience strength team build well."  Those may not be exactly the right meanings though, since Vietnamese words often have slightly different meanings depending on the context.  You get the idea.

More family and children themes.  The last bullet point on the left says "family happiness."

I think this one is a traffic safety message.  I snapped it in the middle of a big roundabout on Cach Mang Thang Tam.  Fewer than 1% of Vietnamese riders wear helmets, although the governement seems to be trying to boost that figure.

Propaganda fascinates me in all its forms.  You can see some historical Vietnamese propaganda here.  It's interesting to compare and contrast it with American propaganda from World War II, which you can find here.  Good propaganda shares universal attributes -- it is simple and straightforward, employs vivid imagery and makes a powerful emotional appeal.

Vietnam Images

There are so many fascinating images in Vietnam that appear and vanish in seconds.  It's impossible to capture them on camera due to their fleeting nature, but I'll do my best to describe an image I saw recently.

It's raining.  Pouring, tropical, driving rain.  I'm riding my motorbike, peering through the rain with slitted eyes, dodging traffic.  I am a stranger in a strange land.  I look up and see someone driving towards me on my side of the street, all the way on the edge of the lane.  He's a young guy, early 20s.  His expression is one of grim determination as he battles the rain en route to his destination.   His long-sleeved T-shirt reads,  in enormous block letters "DISARM SADDAM NOW."  In the blink of an eye he's gone.

There are eight million stories in the naked city.  I just saw one of them.

Public Art

There's a big park a few blocks from my house.  It's an oasis of greenery and quiet in the middle of downtown Saigon.  On any given day it's packed with people walking, playing badminton or taking a leisurely stroll with their kids.  It also contains some interesting scultptures.  Pictures below, for your viewing pleasure.

 

 

 

 

 

The Coca-Cola Kid

I saw this kid selling Coca-Cola to motorists at a stoplight in central Saigon today and had to snap a pic.  Embodied in this fresh-faced teenager is all the incredible change that is sweeping across Viet Nam.  I was thirsty too, so I bought a bottle.

A capitalist, consumer culture has taken root with a vengeance here.  It's almost as if the Vietnamese are in overdrive to make up for 25 years of economic stagnation.  Everywhere I see evidence of a burgeoning middle class and the trappings of wealth -- DVD shops (pirated, but obvious evidence of DVD players) , florists, photo studios, refrigerators, LCD HDTVs, glossy fashion magazines, etc. 

Yesterday I went to a Walmart-type store crammed with toasters, cookies, cell phones, audio equipment, shampoo, cosmetics, pots and pans, produce, a bakery (the Vietnamese bake excellent bread), clothing, stationery, rice cookers -- you name it, this place had it.  Except for the checkout girls wearing ao dais, It felt pretty much like any similar store in Des Moines or Milwaukee.  It warmed my heart. 

Some find it fashionable to bemoan the spread of wealth and market-based economies across the world.  "Everything is being Starbuck-ized!" they complain as they sip their lattes or Pinot Noir.  Certainly the free market has its ugly spots.  But I challenge any of those people to spend 40 years working from dawn until dusk plowing fields with a water buffalo and living in a dirt-floor house.  I'm pretty sure they would politely decline.  Instead, they would go to the local Whole Foods and drop a wad on overpriced organic produce and free-range chicken packaged in tidy, sanitized containers.  Just like the Vietnamese.

Here's the checkout area of the store I visited yesterday.  A security guy scolded me for taking this photo.  Maybe he thought I was working for the competition.

Some glossies for sale.  I see these stands everywhere.

Frequent sightings of the hammer and sickle offer a sharp reminder of the country's pedigree.  But with every passing day it seems more and more an anachronism.

People of Viet Nam, I salute you!

Tôi tên là Lâm (My name is Lâm)

Whoa, check it out - tôi víêt tíêng vịêt.  Cảm ơn Doan Thuc và Thông.

Vietnamese folks have a hard time pronouncing and remembering "Chris," so I've chosen a Vietnamese name.  It's "Lâm" (pronounced like "lum").  It means "forrest" in Vietnamese and is a good fit because that's my middle name in English.

I've taken to introducing myself as "Lâm" because it's just easier.  Naturally, Vietnamese people think this is hysterically funny.  I usually get a variation of "What?  But that's a Vietnamese name!  You're not Vietnamese!" delivered between giggles.  I like to shoot back "Không.  Tôi là người vịêt.  Tôi không hiểu tiếng anh.  Tôi nói tiếng vịet." (No.  I'm Vietnamese.  I don't understand English.  I speak Vietnamese.)  More laughter ensues.

Vietnamese names are pretty interesting.  Women's names are all gentle and/or beautiful, like Hoa (flower), Bình (peace), Phượng (phoenix) and Trinh (chaste).  Men's names are all manly and strong, like Quân (soldier),  Dũng (valiant), Thông (pine tree) and, of course, Lâm (forrest).

Eek!

I returned home on Sunday and found a few little piles of what must be mouse (or worse, rat) droppings.  I cannot abide sharing my living space with vermin.  I went out and bought a bunch of mousetraps ("bay chieot") which was a great way to practice my Vietnamese.  "Nha toi co nhieu chieot!" = "My house has many mice!"  I could find only glue traps though.  I prefer the mechanical traps because they "take care" of the problem for you if you know what I mean.  I don't know what I'll do when I catch a live one.  The glue traps come from Korea and incongruently feature pictures of Minnie and Mickey Mouse -- kinda gruesome.  I wonder if Disney knows?

It's been two days but I haven't caught one yet.  Maybe someone tipped off Mickey.

Snow White

I've seen these posters all over town.  It looks like a live-action, Vietnamese version of "Snow White."  I wonder if they've translated the Seven Dwarves' "Heigh-Ho" into Vietnamese?

 

Rules of the Road

Ok, so I got a motorbike.  I've been riding for about 10 days now and am starting to understand the unwritten rules of the road here.  Official rules like "stop at red lights" are meaningless in Viet Nam.  People simply ignore them.  Much more important are the unwritten rules that one learns only through experience.  One is that in an intersection without a light, the first guy there has the right of way.  This rule has a corollary - even if you're the first one there it is sometimes that case that you should yield to the larger vehicle.  (Q: Where does an 800 pound gorilla sleep?  A: Anywhere he wants.)

Or take red and green lights.  People sort of obey them, but their obeisance is forced by drivers going the other direction through the intersection.  When a light turns red, the traffic flow that *was* going through the intersection continues to go through it until the people who now have the green light flood into the intersection and choke them off.  It's important that the people who now have the green light make a show of strength in numbers.  If only a few guys go out they will get clobbered -- gotta go in force.  The traffic whose light just turned red will keep going until they're forced to stop.

I've witnessed a similar phenomenon with left turns.  In the face of heavy oncoming traffic flow it's virtually impossible to make a left turn on your own (I've seen it done, but mostly by 16 year old boys with a death wish).  You generally have to wait for more people to arrive who want to make the same left turn.  Then when the left-turners reach critical mass you make a break for it and force oncoming traffic to yield before your combined might.  Coalitions between complete strangers are built and dissolved within seconds to achieve a common end.  It's fascinating to watch, let alone participate in.

Since I don't have a place to store my bike I need to bring it into the house at night.  It's kinda weird, but I've learned that bikes are prized possessions here are subject to rampant theft if left unprotected.  I've even seen guys reclined and sleeping on their bikes.  Gotta get a pic of that.

Check out this blog for another expat's view on the crazy traffic here.

 

Chez Charvey

I moved into my new house last week.  It's great.  I have plenty of room, a fridge, a washing machine and cable.  Did I mention the cable?  It's also in a quiet alley off a not quiet at all street.  There's an electronics store across the street from the alley entrance that has flashing lights and broadcasts really loud electronics effects sounds, all the time.  It's like something out of "Blade Runner" (one of my favorite movies by the way). 

I have a guest bedroom with its very own AC unit for the many, many of you who are planning trips to Viet Nam. 

Here are some pics of chez charvey. 

Pink - it's the new black.

Hello, Sailor

I was walking downtown yesterday when I ran into a gaggle of young American sailors on shore leave.  It turns about that there there are two American ships with about 150 sailors paying a courtesy call to Saigon this week.  One is the USS Salvor, a ship that specializes in salvage and diving operations.  The other is the USS Patriot, a mine countermeasures ship.

I talked to them for a few minutes and gave them directions to an ATM.  "Check out your account balance in Vietnamese dong -- you're all millionaires!"  (Always a good gag for newcomers.)

I had a few errands to run so I couldn't stay long.  But seeing American sailors walking around downtown Saigon was a sight that stirred my patriot heart, especially given that this is July 4 weekend.  So I resolved to go out last night, find some sailors, and buy them a drink.

I caught up with Dive Master Mike, Raul, Liaison Bob, Dave from Massachussets and Bosun Mark at Saigon Saigon.  They were decked out in dress whites and looking every bit as dapper as Richard Gere in "An Officer and a Gentleman."  Pictured at right are Bosun Mark and me in my camo civvies.  These are the guys that  recently confirmed the final resting place of the USS Largarto, a US submarine that went missing in the closing months of WWII.  You can read the story and see the pictures here.  There's a picture of Mike Moser, the Dive Master on the USS Salvor who visited the wreck.  For a while Dive Master Mike reminded me of someone but I just couldnt put my finger on.  Then it occured to me -- Vin Diesel!  Raul was making paper roses from napkins and using them to break the ice with cute girls.  He taught me too -- it was surprisingly easy, um I mean hard.   

Anyway, it was an honor and a lot of fun to buy the men of the USS Salvor a round and hang out with America's finest. 

Genuine Texas BBQ in Saigon

Hey Pardners,

I wanted y'all to know that thar's damn fine genuine Texas BBQ smack in the middle of Saigon.

A few nights ago I was having a drink with Steve, an American friend here, and mentioned that I had seen this crazy looking Texas BBQ place on the way to he airport. "Oh, I know that place!  Let's go there for dinner." Fantastic idea.

Initially I was skeptical.  Texas BBQ in Vietnam? The Vietnamese just don't know what to do with big hunks of meat.  I'm not sure their stomachs would know what to do with it either.  But alas, there it was.  We ordered nachos and guac (damn good), wings and, of course, Texas BBQ.  It delivered.  Steve told me that the owner is a Vietnamese-American guy from Houston.  The "chef" (do you call Texas BBQ men chefs?) is a born and bred Texan as well.  Good eatin'.

The decor was a little on the cheesy side but not over the top.  It looked like I'd imagine a Texas BBQ theme restaurant to look like, with signs like "Sherriff" and "H&W Bank" on the walls.  There was also a neon cowboy with a swinging arm, just like in Vegas.  I know that Vegas isn't Texas, but it fit with the general Texan theme nevertheless. 

Completing the effect was a geniune Texas two-step class (I have no idea if that's the right name - I think I picked up that term on TV somewhere).  It was great.  I'm not sure that Texas Two-Step is danced to Eddie Rabbit's "I Love a Rainy Night" though.  Any Texans care to comment?

 

Friends of Friends are Friends of Charvey

It's funny...you move to Viet Nam and suddenly you find out that people you know have all sorts of connections with people in Viet Nam, people traveling to Viet Nam, or people who want to do business in Viet Nam.  I say to My Public, bring 'em on!

Some friends of my former Yahoo! colleague, Jason M, emailed me a few weeks ago about their imminent visit to Saigon.  Audra and Jonathan are on a 100 day Southeast Asia odyssey all the way from New Orleans, Louisiana.  I figured if JM knew them they were good peeps.  I was right -- many moments of enjoyable hilarity ensued.

We connected earlier this week for dinner at Augustin, a tasty restaurant francais, and took in a performance at the Saigon Opera House.  During the first performance set the Ho Chi Minh City Orchestra performed some Mozart and cello pieces, accompanied by a guest conductor and cellist from France.  They were quite good.  I especially enjoyed the emotional expressions playing out over the French cellist's face during the highs and lows of the piece.  Il a joue avec la passion du monde.

The second set had the cellist playing solo while a half-naked guy performed "interpretive dance" with some ropes under continually changing spotlights and lighting.  Although at first this didn't, ahem, speak to me, once I started to imagine my own interpretations for the dance it became much more interesting.  For example, at one point the dancer moved between two ropes stretched across the stage and suspended in parallel about a meter in the air.  A bright spotlight shining from the left side of the stage was the only light.  He struggled to move toward the light as if swimming upstream against a swift current.  I imagined that this was his struggle to understand and embrace the desires deep within his heart and remain true to them in the face of adversity and temptation.  The light symbolized truth, and it became brighter and harsher the closer he came to it.  In fact, he sometimes turned away from the brightness and lost ground, as if he found it challenging to acknowledge his deepest desires.  The parallel ropes symbolized two dimensions of movement -- either towards or away from our hearts.  Not bad eh?

Audra, Jonathan and I went out again on Wednesday night.  We swapped jokes and travel stories while eating at Cafe Latin on Duong Du.  Cafe Latin serves apple pie a la mode that is quite good -- flaky crust, warm, good chunks of apples and texture and delicious vanilla ice cream.  It did need more cinnamon though.  I mentioned this to the waiter and the next thing I knew Neil, the chef, was at the table asking my opinion of how to improve his apple pie.  "Ah yes.  Americans like extra cinnamon.  Let me know the next time you're here and I'll make it special for you."  Hey alright, that's service.  Thanks Neil!

Audra and Jonathan have a blog of their trip adventures.  Check out their very entertaining stories in "100 Days in Asia."  They take turns submitting blogging entries.  It's funny to hear their different perspectives, opinions and sometimes disagreements get aired in this public forum.  Imagine dueling banjos, but in blog form and you'll see what I mean.

Thanks for sending Jonathan and Audra my way, Jason.  And to the rest of My Public -- you can send your cool peeps my way too.  I'm always ready for visitors.

Good Eatin'

I have been pleasantly surprised with the range and quality of international cuisine options in Saigon.  You can find decent American burgers, German pig knuckles, Indian and Thai curry, Chinese, Sushi, Korean BBQ, French and even Hungarian (don't ask me what Hungarian food is like -- I haven't a clue.  Goulash?) 

Tonight I ate tout seul at a very tasty and inexpensive little French place, "Le Jardin," on Thi Sach Street.  A French guy told me about it and there were lots of Frenchies there so that's how I knew it had to be good.  I had a massive salad (I ate it just so I could put it on this post, Mom) and the "Pork Chops with Provence Herbs."  Man that sounded good and it was.  I had mashed potatoes with it too that musta had a pound of butter mixed in.  But oh boy was it good.  The French can't do beer worth a hoot, but they got the food and wine down pretty good.

Ok, I'm off to watch the USA crush Ghana in the World Cup at an American sports bar called "The Bottom Line."  They have meatloaf almost as good as my mom's.

If you want to learn more about food in Saigon, check out a blog called Noodlepie.  It makes me hungry just looking at it.